Intro Info
Category: Slash, Humour/R (adult themes) 
Spoilers: Second Season
Disclaimer: Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox own the X-Files, not 
me. And if you recognize anyone else, I don't own them 
either. If I've been bad, don't sue me, just spank me. Lyrics 
from The Who's Tommy.
Summary: Skinner, Pendrell, Mulder, and fan-favourite Tom 
Colton spend the taxpayers' money on another Male Bondage 
seminar.
Many thanks to Hindy for beta reading!
For Sergeeva and the cats, who know what inspired this.
 
Male Bondage II: DIY B&D 
by Halrloprillalar 
Assistant Director Walter Skinner parked his car by a small 
white house and walked up to the front door. He rang the 
doorbell and, as he waited, petted the small grey cat sitting 
there. After a minute, he was about to ring again when the 
door opened to reveal Agent Pendrell, holding a toothbrush 
and looking a little foamy about the mouth. The cat slipped 
past him into the house.
"Sorry," Pendrell said. "I'm almost ready."
"I'm a few minutes early. I've got my coffee in the car, so I'll 
wait there."
Skinner only had time for a few sips before Pendrell raced out 
the door, still tying his tie. He slid into the front seat and 
turned to Skinner. "All ready."
"You have some toothpaste on the side of your mouth."
Pendrell flushed and craned his neck until he could see his 
face in the side-mirror. He licked off the white blob and 
straightened his tie, then sat back and tried to relax as Skinner 
drove.
After several minutes, Skinner pulled the car in at the curb and 
stopped right by two men standing on the sidewalk, Mulder 
and Colton. Locked in a close embrace, they didn't seem to 
notice.
Skinner looked across the front seat to Pendrell and rolled his 
eyes. "Remind me not to send those two on any stakeouts. I 
probably shouldn't even be taking them to this seminar, 
considering this is the result of the last one."
He blared the horn and the amorous agents finally noticed that 
their ride had arrived. They climbed into the back seat amidst 
much pushing and helping with seat belts.
"Agent Colton, Agent Mulder, it's handy that you two were 
meeting to go over some reports this morning so we didn't 
have to make two stops." Skinner's voice dripped with 
sarcasm.
Colton and Mulder were already back in Candyland, playing 
little finger games and making silly kissy faces. In an 
embarrassingly audible voice, Mulder serenaded Colton, 
"Tommy, can you hear me? Can you feel me near you? Ooh, 
Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy."
Skinner clenched his jaw and drove off in silence. Pendrell 
was quiet too, sneaking nervous glances at Skinner while he 
read the brochure for the seminar.
 
"Welcome to eXXXcel: Excellence through Sex. I see most of 
you have already attended our introductory Male Bondage 
seminar. Wasn't it great?" The lithe, dark-haired man smiled 
toothily.
"I'm Jacques and I'll be your facilitator today for the next of 
our MB seminars: Do-It-Yourself B&D, one of my personal 
favourites..." He broke off as the door opened and a blonde 
woman strode in.
"Jacques, this is my group. So kind of you to be helpful, but I 
can handle it."
"But Cathy..."
"Security camera 2," she hissed. "Watch from there but just get 
out of here."
Smiling brilliantly, she turned to the men. "So sorry to be late. 
Thanks, Jacques, I'll take it from here."
Casting a sulky look over his shoulder, Jacques left, closing 
the door rather firmly.
Cathy continued to bubble. "I'm so glad to see you back, Mr. 
Mulder, Mr. Colton," the bubble turned to a purr, "Mr. 
Skinner." She favoured the Assistant Director with a 
smouldering yet perky glance before turning reluctantly away.
"And you must be Mr. Pendrell." She looked over them again. 
"But where is Mr. Krycek?"
The tension in the room changed noticeably. Mulder scowled 
blackly as Colton put his arm protectively over Mulder's 
shoulders and began to murmur in his ear.
Pendrell's lower lip began to quiver and he blinked rapidly, 
looking down at the floor.
"Mr. Krycek is no longer with our group," Skinner said.
"But he was so good with people! We'll miss him today, I'm 
sure. I suppose he got promoted and sent somewhere else." 
Cathy looked down at her notes.
"Do-It-Yourself B&D is about improving your creativity and 
right brain thinking, as well as learning how to improvise 
bondage equipment from ordinary household items. You 
never know when you might find yourself in a situation to 
apply the proven eXXXcel techniques for problem solving but 
be without the proper tools." She smiled broadly. "First we're 
going to watch a video."
She switched on the VCR and the eXXXcel logo appeared on 
the large screen, then faded as the program began.
Martha Stewart, impeccably dressed in natural cotton slacks 
and a soft pink mock turtleneck, stood in front of a table 
covered with craft materials. She held the leash to a studded 
collar worn by a tall, thin blond man, whose only other 
clothing was a leather codpiece.
"Today Stefan and I are going to show you how easy it is to 
make handcrafted bondage equipment from things you have 
around the house." Martha fastened the handle of the leash 
onto a metal clip at her belt. "Here's a little tip: I got this clip 
from the hardware store--it's usually used for keys--and when 
you need both hands free, it's an excellent way to keep hold of 
the leash but have it out of the way." She looked at Stefan and 
smiled.
"First of all, we're going to make a lovely ball-gag out of a dog 
ball and a colourful bandana." Martha tugged sharply on 
Stefan's leash and he picked up a red spotted handkerchief 
and a blue rubber ball.
"Now, be sure the ball is big enough that it won't work free 
and choke your bottom." Martha winked at Stefan who 
remained studiously impassive. She took the items from him. 
"First, place the ball in the centre of the cloth and fold both 
sides over to make a tube, then simply tie a knot on either side 
of the ball, and you're done. Lovely!"
Another snap of the leash and Stefan knelt, enabling Martha to 
tie on the gag. "The bandana has to be long enough to reach 
around the back, so check first. Isn't that attractive?" She 
smiled broadly at the camera.
"And when you're short of nipple clamps, you can make a 
handsome pair out of an old set of clip-on earrings. All you 
have to do is use twist ties to attach any number of small 
objects to give them a little weight. Here I'm using a key chain 
and a fishing lure on one and a small bell and an early radish 
on the other."
Martha fastened the earrings onto Stefan's nipples. "See? 
Nothing to it and it's all handcrafted for that personal touch." 
She reached out and flicked the bell. A sharp tinkle rang out as 
the scene faded to black.
Text appeared on the screen: "Don't forget Martha's book, 
'Make Your Home a Dungeon,' where you'll find recipes, tips, 
and craft projects such as how to make a charming iron 
maiden out of your old hide-a-bed."
Cathy switched off the TV. "I hope you're all ready to Do-It-
Yourself! We're going to break into groups of two to do some 
eXXXcel problem solving. You get to improvise your 
equipment from the mystery materials in the Male Bondage 
Grab Bag!" She held up a large box. "Mr. Skinner and Mr. 
Pendrell, come and pick a bag. No peeking!"
Skinner reached into the box and pulled out a black paper bag 
tastefully embossed with the eXXXcel logo. They headed for 
one of the bondage stations in the back of the room.
"Why don't you take Station 2?" Cathy suggested, leading them 
with her hand on Skinner's arm. She paused a moment, then 
reluctantly turned back to Colton and Mulder.
At Station 2, Skinner gave Pendrell an appraising look, 
narrowing his eyes slightly. "OK, Agent Pendrell, you top me."
Pendrell's eyes flew open in alarm. "Me? But I've never..."
"Exactly. You need some experience. And as your supervisor, 
it's up to me to help you develop your leadership skills."
"Um...OK." Pendrell sounded dubious. "What's in our bag?"
Skinner poured the contents out onto a small table, revealing 
an assortment of dental hygiene products: toothbrushes, floss, 
denture adhesive, a dental mirror, some gauze, and other 
paraphernalia. Pendrell stared at the jumbled collection, lost in 
thought.
"Let's get down to business." Skinner removed his shirt as he 
spoke, and then, bare to the waist, unbuttoned Pendrell's as 
well. Pendrell almost didn't seem to notice, but he shrugged out 
of the sleeves, retrieving a couple of things from his pocket.
"What's the problem you want to solve, Agent Pendrell?"
The young agent blushed a painful pink. "Uh...well, I've been 
wanting to ask Agent Scully out for a long time, but I don't 
really know what to say."
"Right, I'll think about it. Time to start."
Snapping into efficiency, Pendrell swathed Skinner's wrists in 
gauze, then wrapped the dental floss around them, winding 
and winding the lightly-waxed, shred-resistant, cinnamon-
flavoured line until Skinner was bound securely. Making an 
extra loop, Pendrell slung it over a hook at the station, leaving 
Skinner kneeling, his arms in the air.
Meanwhile, Cathy let Colton and Mulder pick a grab bag. "Just 
take any station you want."
Remembering the last seminar, she swallowed, sighed, and 
took up a vantage point near the middle of the room so she 
could watch both groups, at least ostensibly. She tried to take 
notes, but gave up when she realised she was actually 
sketching the planes and shadows of Skinner's muscular chest.
Mulder and Colton shucked their shirts and ties and opened 
their grab bag to find a wealth of sewing notions, brightly 
patterned fabric, thread, and trims.
"Fox, this is really special for me. I mean, it hasn't been quite a 
whole year yet, but being here is kind of an anniversary for 
us."
"Oh, Tom, that's so romantic! It's like where we had our first 
date."
There was silence for a while as they gazed liquidly at one 
another.
"Tommy, you be top, OK?"
"No, you Fox. I was top last week."
"No, you Tommy."
"No, you Foxy."
"Please, Tommy?" Mulder's pouting lower lip grew a little 
poutier and his big eyes a little bigger.
"OK sweetie, if you want me to, I'll top you. We need a 
problem to solve. What do you think?"
"We haven't decided where to go for our vacation yet. Let's 
work on that."
Colton sifted through the bits and pieces in the bag, pulling out 
two swatches and holding them up in front of Mulder's bare 
chest. "These both go so well with your skin tone." He tied a 
blue paisley cloth over Mulder's eyes, securing it at the back 
with a perky bow. The red and white gingham strip went 
around Mulder's wrists.
"Are you ready, Fox in Socks?"
Mulder nodded eagerly. Colton picked up a pattern tracing 
wheel and ran it over Mulder's back, bearing down hard 
enough to leave red lines.
"Vacation spot," Colton growled, pressing harder.
"Tom, this feels really good..."
Colton grabbed Mulder's chin. "You don't talk unless you have 
a vacation idea." He made another pass with the wheel, this 
time crossing Mulder's soft stomach.
Across the room, Pendrell picked up a toothbrush and 
moistened it in his mouth. Slowly and deliberately, he 
scrubbed the skin on Skinner's shoulder. Working in a circular 
motion, he moved lower, scraping harder and harder.
Skinner closed his eyes and sighed gustily.
Pendrell backed off for a moment and squeezed some 
toothpaste onto the brush. He applied it to Skinner's nipples 
and the coldness of the Super-Fresh All-Day Mint drew a gasp 
from the older man. Pendrell swirled the bristles around one 
nipple, then the other, over and over as Skinner grew more and 
more agitated.
At the other station, Colton slipped a thimble over his index 
finger and ran it along Mulder's cheek. Blindly, Mulder turned 
his face to meet it, opening his lips. "Suck," hissed Colton.
Mulder's eager lips and tongue went to work, but Colton soon 
pulled away and ground the wet thimble into Mulder's 
shoulder. Rotating and pushing it, Colton traced an intricate 
pattern of round red marks, then began to press on Mulder's 
nipples. "Vacation, Fox?" *twist* "Vacation, Fox?" *twist* 
"Vacation, Fox?"
The only reaction was ecstatic gasping, so Colton quickly 
constructed a small cat-o'-nine-tails from some green rickrack 
and bobbins. He flogged Mulder with it, repeating "Vacation" 
with each stroke. The metal spools smacked against tender 
skin while Mulder panted and twisted.
Finally, Mulder moaned, "Disneyland."
"Disneyland?" Colton stopped in mid-stroke. "I don't want to 
go to Disneyland."
"But I really want to!" Mulder's lower lip was very much in 
evidence.
"Aw, Fox." Colton chewed his own lip for awhile. "OK, we'll 
go to Disneyland if you want to."
"And hit me some more, 'K?"
"Anything for you, Foxy Loxy." Colton smiled and resumed 
the whipping.
Meanwhile, Pendrell finished up with the toothbrush and set it 
aside. Working swiftly, he opened the floss container and 
emptied it. Inside, he mixed toothpaste, denture adhesive, and 
crushed aspirin. He inserted the dental mirror through the lid, 
then added the ink from a ball-point pen before carefully 
snapping the container closed. Holding the plastic case 
gingerly, Pendrell touched the metal back of the mirror to 
Skinner's shoulder. Skinner twitched, surprised, as he received 
a noticeable electric shock.
Pendrell's face lit up. "It works!" He zapped Skinner again and 
again, finding new delicate areas to tease with the fiery tingle. 
Skinner writhed, closing his eyes to fully absorb the sensation. 
After a few minutes, Pendrell stopped. "That's probably 
enough."
Skinner shook his head, trying to clear it, as Pendrell released 
his hands. "How did you do that?"
"I saw it on MacGyver once. Neat, isn't it?"
"It certainly is." Skinner looked both amused and impressed. 
"And I think I have a good suggestion for you."
"Suggestion?"
"About how to ask Agent Scully out." Standing up, Skinner 
smiled down at his agent.
"Oh...I..." Pendrell blushed again and dropped his eyes, then 
looked up at Skinner through his lashes. "I've changed my 
mind about that."
Across the room, Colton untied Mulder's bonds and blindfold. 
"How was that, sweetie?"
Mulder smiled. "You're always wonderful, Tommy."
"I have something for you." Colton held out his index finger to 
Mulder, thimble snug on the end.
Looking deep into Colton's eyes, Mulder drew the thimble off. 
"That's so sweet!" Noisily, he bussed Colton and put the 
thimble in his pocket.
While the men were dressing, Cathy approached Station 2 and 
put her hand on Skinner's arm. "Mr. Skinner, we like to 
conduct follow-up interviews about these seminars. Your 
opinion is important to us and we want to make these seminars 
the best they can be." She moistened her lips before 
continuing. "Can I make an appointment to talk to you 
sometime next week?"
"I'm going to be out of town. Why don't you talk to Agent 
Pendrell? I'm trying to get him more involved in the 
administrative side of things." Skinner clapped Pendrell on the 
shoulder, causing him to jolt forward a bit.
Cathy's face fell. Then she studied the electrical contraption 
Pendrell had constructed and looked speculatively at the 
young agent. "That would be most interesting, I'm sure. May I 
have your card?"
Pendrell glanced at Skinner before fishing a business card out 
of his wallet and handing it to Cathy.
"And Mr. Skinner," Cathy turned her attention back to him, 
"I'll be sure to send you the schedule for our next set of 
seminars. Or I can drop it by." One final smile, and she 
returned to the front of the room to pick up her stack of notes.
After the men had returned to their chairs, Cathy delivered her 
summing up speech, much like her opening speech, about the 
importance of right brain thinking and creativity in order to 
Do-It-Yourself. She stood staring until they had all filed out 
the door, then grabbed the phone.
"Hi, Jacques, did you get all that?...Of course I want the 
tape...and one for my sister. And be sure to show the director--
I wonder if Mr. Pendrell would be interested in a career 
change."
 
In the car, Mulder and Colton whispered and giggled in the 
back seat, scribbling on a piece of paper they passed back and 
forth. "Is this enough--what do you think, Fox?"
"Add some velcro." Then a little louder, "You can just drop us 
off at the corner here by Fabric World."
Skinner stopped the car and they tumbled out onto the curb, 
pausing for only one kiss before scrambling into the store.
Skinner pulled away again. "Finally! Although it will be a 
while before my blood sugar is back to normal." He looked at 
Pendrell. "Back to your place?"
Pendrell nodded. As they drove, several times he cleared his 
throat as if to say something, but instead just fidgeted with a 
loop of dental floss he had saved.
At last the car stopped in front of the little white house. Both 
men sat for several seconds, saying nothing.
Finally Pendrell glanced shyly at Skinner. "Um...do you want 
to come in for a bit? I could make coffee and we could play 
Scrabble. And you, uh, left your duct tape here last time."
"I'd like that." Skinner's eyes glinted behind his glasses. "I 
brought a toothbrush."
F I N I S
 
Feedback? You can email me at prillalar@yahoo.com.