Author's Notes: Do not write to tell me that the Fourth of July is on a Tuesday this year. I don't care. I need it to be on a weekend, so I decided that it is in this AU. Take it or leave it. Thank you. Also, my Matthew Scully is probably older than he is on the show. I repeat, this is my AU. Humor me. Thank you again. Warning: There is *no* sex in this chapter, but sappy kid's stuff! Category: threesome, NC-17 for some light bdsm stuff (some would call it kinky torture, I guess...) Disclaimer: They're mine! All MINE!!! CC and consorts - eat your hearts out!!! Just kidding. No rights, no infringement, no money - but lotsa fun! My addy is: gaby@gaby.slashcity.tv My home is at: http://gaby.slashcity.tv Summary: Our AD and his pouty best friend find out that Bill isn't the mean one in the Scully Family... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In The Lioness's Den *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* by Gaby Chapter 8: Fireworks What the hell am I doing here, anyway? I sit in my car, waiting. Have been for the last five minutes at least. I'm sure it won't be long until a police car pulls up next to me because one of the neighbors has reported a stalker lurking around. I have to smile at that. Stalker, my butt. It's just that the thought of entering Maggie Scully's house totally and completely terrifies me. Don't get me wrong. I like Maggie. I like her a lot. We've grown to enjoy each other's company, ever since we met after Dana was abducted. We've instantly 'had a thing' for each other. Not the way you think, of course. In the platonic sense. Nothing more. But we have occasionally talked on the phone every couple of months, and I remember not too long ago, when she visited her daughter in DC and finally wanted to see the infamous basement Spooky Cave, that I ran into her and Dana in a hallway and gave her an impromptu two- hours-tour of the Hoover, ending with a cup of coffee. Or two. That was nice. Maggie was glad to be out of Dana's hair because she was busy reigning her partner in at the time, and I was glad to have escaped the tedious quarterly expense reports. Back then, however, I didn't sleep with her daughter. This is the funny part. I really looked forward to this weekend. I missed Maggie's company, and under different circumstances I would've loved to spend the Fourth of July with the Scully family. Now, however, a little voice in my head keeps yelling at me to run for cover. I'm not sure how to keep up the facade of stern AD Skinner. I mean, I don't really have to worry about this at the Hoover because Scully is still working at Quantico, thank god! But here, I will have to be anything but Lady Enigma's clueless little sub, and I'm not sure that I can pull this off. I mean, I will be standing next to Maggie, thinking, 'well, you know, you will never believe this but I'm sleeping with your daughter. Not only that, Little Scully actually Dommes me. Oh, Maggie, and this one will have you in stitches - Mulder, spooky platonic partner of hers, is actively enjoying the same...treatments!' Oh yeah. Maggie will have the time of her life today with sulky me. I decide it's best when I leave and reach for my keys, just turning them in the ignition when the front door opens and Mulder steps out into the bright sunlight. He looks at me blankly before breaking out in a big grin. Damn. Busted. Grabbing my keys, I get out of the car. He walks up to me, smiling happily. "I thought you'd chicken out. Where've you been, Betty?" I give him a stern look that has totally and completely no effect on him whatsoever. I'm really losing my touch. I sigh. "Well, I had to run some errands before I got here. You know, post office, bank, supermarket, dry cleaners..." Mulder sees my suits in the back of the car, all neatly wrapped up and folded from the dry cleaners. "Delaying tactics, sir?" he asks, his face straight but his eyes alight with a mocking gleam. I hang my head in shame. Mulder laughs and slaps my upper arm. "Don't worry. It's gonna be fine. Maggie's waiting for you." He winks irritatingly. I scowl. Which only broadens his grin. "Bill's already here, as well. Bastard. I'm so glad you've finally arrived. Now we can have some fun with that weasel." Oh no. Not again. I just know that we'll be in big trouble once Scully finds out about the entire Mrs. Davis fiasco, and I'm not going to add to my misery by pulling anything stupid where Bill is concerned. Well, I'm not. Ah, who am I kidding. Of course I'll follow Mulder's lead. Again. Ending up in more trouble than ever before. Or something. While I was busy discussing these pressing matters with myself, Mulder has gone back to the house. I realize that when I hear him saying out loud, "Will you be coming, sir?" For a moment, I'm looking around, confused, asking myself who he was addressing, until I realize that he was talking to me. He smirks impishly, knowing full well that I'm more used to him calling me 'Muffin' or 'Walter' or 'Betty' for chrissakes, than 'sir'. Then I see Scully appearing next to him, and I beam. Ah, my Scully. Then my face falls. My Lady Enigma. Ohmygod, I can't do this! Scully is standing next to me in an instant, looking concerned. "What is it, Walter? You look as if you're having a panic attack!" I smile hesitantly. "Sorry. It's just that Maggie...I mean, I'm sure she can see that we're...you know..." I falter. Scully grins. "Why would she? Come on, Walter, I've been doing this with Mulder for quite a while now, and she doesn't suspect anything. Relax." "Relax? Dana, this is your *mother*! She has the mother radar. Every mother has one. I'm sure it's scientifically proven!" Scully laughs out loud, and I melt. I just love this laugh of hers, the one that sounds like a million tiny bells jingling happily and brightly. Wonderful. Beautiful. Just like my Scully. "She *will* know that something is wrong when she sees you like this. All pale and terrified. Smile, Walter. You have such a lovely smile." She looks at me expectantly, and I give her a wan smile. She sighs. "You'll have to work on that, you know." I nod, and sigh. Steeling myself, I open the passenger door to grab the thank you present for Maggie before locking the car. Scully raises an eyebrow. "Are you trying to seduce my mom, sir?" she asks mockingly, and what little color has returned to my face vanishes again. She sighs in mock consternation before hooking her hand in my arm to escort me to the front door. Probably wants to make sure that I'm not running away at the last second. Just as we are climbing the steps to the front porch, Mulder turns to look into the dark interior of the house. "Yes, Mrs. S. He's finally here!" Maggie appears next to Mulder, smiling at me. Without taking her eyes off me she gently slaps Mulder's upper arm. He apparently understands perfectly what this was about because he sighs and murmurs in way of correcting himself, "Maggie." She nods briefly, as if to say 'that's better' before taking my hand in both of hers. "I'm so glad you're here, Walter. It's been a while since I last saw you." I can see Mulder smirking at me again but decide to ignore the little troll. "Yes," I agree. "It's been months. You were at the Hoover. I had a lot of fun playing tour guide." I smile. Well, this isn't really as hard as I thought it would be. Maybe it's okay if I relax just a little. Maggie gives her daughter a gentle shove in Mulder's general direction. "You two kids run along now and let the grown-ups have a little chit-chat," she says, and Mulder laughs out loud. "Come on, Scully," he says in a conspiratorial undertone. "Let's leave the old folks alone. They probably don't want us to see their walking aides and false teeth, or something." He gives us another cheeky grin that only makes me want to grab him and kiss him senseless because he looks too cute for this world when he's in that kind of mood, but I manage a very AD-like growl instead. Of course it has no effect on him whatsoever. Mulder uses his hand in the small of Scully's back to escort her inside, and I feel a pang of jealousy run through my blood. *My* Scully. *My* Lady Enigma. Then again, it's *my* Mulder as well, at least technically speaking. I have to grin slightly when I realize what I'm thinking about, and how ridiculous this all is. Maggie, of course, interprets this differently. "You really have a soft spot for him, don't you, Walter?" she asks me softly, and I need a moment until I realize what she is talking about. Then I smile at her, and nod. "Don't tell him, though," I whisper, and wink. She bursts out laughing. "As if he didn't already know. Really, Walter!" She shakes her head. I look at her blankly. "Do you really think he doesn't know that? It's so obvious. I'm not stupid, you know. I have eyes, and I can still see very well with them, no matter what Fox thinks. Walking aides." She gives a very unladylike snort. Ohmygod, does that also mean she knows about Scully and...??? Maggie leads me inside, and whispers, "The funniest thing of it all, though, is the fact that Dana and Fox think I don't know that they are...you know..." She wiggles her eyebrows, which only reminds me a lot of Mulder. My mouth drops open. She cocks her head. "Don't tell me you didn't know?" Yeah, well, how shall I put this, Maggie? Yes, I do know. I've been there, seen it. Took part, in fact. Was nice, too. "Well, I suspected something like this," I say. Well, to be totally honest with you, I did suspect something like this. For the longest time. Before...you know. Then I remember my manners, and I give Maggie my present. A box of chocolates. From Belgium. Godiva. The best in the world. Damn expensive, too. I've learned that Maggie has a sweet tooth, and that she just dies for Godiva. I think she's never eaten more chocolate than at the time she spent in the hospital with her daughter. And if anyone starts to make any stupid remarks about the name Godiva and Maggie, or Dana for that matter, you will have to answer to me! Anyway, Maggie takes the box and smiles at me broadly. "Thank you so much, Walter! You remembered!" She is clearly delighted, and I blush. When she gives me a quick peck on my cheek, I blush even more. When I hear a throat being cleared, I blush crimson red. Mulder. The master of perfect timing. "Sir!" he exclaims in mock surprise. "Are you trying to seduce my Maggie?" He sidles up to Maggie and gives her a hug and a quick kiss on her hair. "Mine!" he growls, and squeezes poor Maggie closer. She collapses into a fit of delighted laughter before giving Mulder a peck on his cheek as well. "Ah, two wonderful men fighting over me. What more could I ask for?" She smiles broadly before turning towards the kitchen. "I'll just put the chocolate in the fridge. It's too hot to leave this treasure out in the open." I stare at her retreating back. Two men fighting over her? Must run in the family, Maggie. You don't know the half of it. "You know, *I* might be able to handle two women, but you're at this certain age where performing on command is becoming rather difficult," Mulder whispers in my ear, and I'm this close to smacking him. He grins at me impishly. "Come on, let's say hello to the rest of the family. I can't wait to have you by my side when Evil Bill tries to get his hands on me again." I walk with him towards the backyard. "You know, Mulder, the way you're behaving right now, I have half a mind of helping Bill instead," I mumble. Mulder glances in my general direction and flashes me another quick grin. "I love you, too, Betty," he murmurs, a tender look in his eyes that makes me want to melt for him. Right before he is attacked by a little boy. Mulder laughs out loud and swings the boy up into his arms. "Hey, Mattie. I want you to meet my boss. Say hello to..." He falters for a second, unsure what to call me. I smile at Mattie who seems to be impressed by me, for whatever reason. "Hello, Mattie. I'm Walter. Your aunt Dana works for me." Mattie grabs my hand, a serious frown on his cute face. "How do you do, Walter?" Then he breaks into a broad grin. "Do you play baseball? I'm in the little league, and I'm really good. Fox has promised me to play some catch later but he always lets me win." Mulder squeezes the small body in his arms, and scowls at the boy mockingly. "Hey!" he exclaims. "I'm not letting you win. You're just too good for me!" Mattie grins and blushes. "Well, it's not really that difficult to be better than you, Mulder," I hear someone mumble. Bill. Of course. Mulder's smile fades visibly though he tries to keep it firmly in place for the boy's sake. "I'd be honored to play catch with the famous Matthew Scully," I interject, trying to ease the tension a little. Mattie grins happily. Mulder looks at me thankfully. I can see Scully inching her way towards her brother, fuming. Yup. We'll have a grand day out. Swell. ***** Okay, I have to admit that this day isn't half as bad as I thought it would be. Bill behaves himself for the most part, but I think that has mostly to do with the fact that Maggie hovers close to him all the time. Mulder is having the time of his life with Mattie, and I realize with a start what a great father he would be. Might have something to do with his boyish attitude to most things in life, though. And I have to admit that I love this about him. Scully is busy in the kitchen, preparing potato salad and cole slaw, aided by her sister-in-law Tara. Her other brother, Charlie, couldn't make it even though he tried. I can see that this saddens Maggie a lot but she's not really letting it show. So, it's just the seven of us. Plus Bill's ego. Makes eight. I've broken up what threatened to turn into a serious fight between Bill and Mulder about an hour ago. They were at each other's throats because Bill is obviously jealous of Mattie's affection for Mulder. The boy just adores my Fox, and Bill is going ballistic every time he sees his son walking in the general direction of his enemy. Mulder once told me about his first clash with Bill, in the hospital's hallway. That Bill called him a sorry son of a bitch. At that time! Normally, I'm trying not to judge people. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, and I do understand why Bill acted this way, what with his sister dying and Melissa already dead and all, but I gladly admit that I'm on Mulder's side here. Bill just acts like an asshole sometimes. And watching him, basically telling his son to stay away from Mulder, really breaks my heart. Mattie convinced me that playing catch with him is my sole purpose in life, at least right now, so I don't realize that Mulder has that tell-tale gleam in his eyes when he advances Bill standing at the barbecue grill. Oh no. Danger, Will Robinson! Thinking for a split-second, I throw the softball in the general direction of the back porch where the two men are standing, yelling, "Catch, Mulder!" Bill is startled to find Mulder standing right behind him, and Mulder is startled to find a ball being hurled at him. His hand shoots out automatically, catching the softball before it smashes the window behind him. Whew. "You're turn, Mulder. As you so graciously pointed out, I'm getting old!" I know it's mean. I know that using little Mattie to force Mulder away from Bill is wrong. But I couldn't come up with anything else, so that will have to do. Mulder shoots me a murderous look for interfering his brilliant plan (whatever it was), Bill shoots me a murderous look for bringing Mulder and Mattie together again, and Mattie shoots me a very hurt look that breaks my heart. I give him a gentle squeeze. "Listen to me, Mattie. You've clearly worn me out here. Why don't you kick some Mulder butt, and when you're through with him, I'll have enough strength for another round. Okay?" Mattie giggles because I said 'butt' and nods. Well, at least *one* out of three isn't mad at me anymore. When Mulder passes me on his way to Mattie he whispers, "I'm not finished with Bill yet, Walter." "Yes, you are, Mulder. I mean it. We still have to tell Scully about you know what, and I don't want any more trouble. Am I making myself clear?" Mulder stares at me mutinously but I have my stern AD frown firmly in place, and I'm absolutely delighted to see that it does actually have an effect because after a moment, Mulder backs off. He stares at his sneakers. "Okay," he mumbles. I squeeze his arm warningly. "I said, okay," he says louder, looking up. I look at him searchingly, then decide that he's telling the truth. Good. I smile warmly and shove him in Mattie's direction. After a moment, I hear him say, "Hey, Mattie, see this big bald guy over there? He's a bully. He likes to torment poor innocent people." I sigh. Great, Mulder. Brilliant. "Don't frighten the boy, Mulder," I throw over my shoulder. Then I see Mattie's face. Apparently, he has heard one gray alien story too many from Mulder because he clearly isn't impressed. "No, Walter isn't a bully. He's nice. He showed me how to throw a curve ball." Good boy, Mattie. You'll make it in this world. ***** This is nice. I'm sitting here, in a plush recliner, in the warm sunlight, Mattie on my lap, listening to him telling me about his adventures in playing little league. Maggie sits next to me, beaming proudly. Hell, I'd be beaming proudly, too, if Mattie was *my* grandson! The last few hours were spent in a mostly civilized manner. Bill and Mulder did both have their less than shining moments, but that was mostly Bill's fault, and everybody knows that. More importantly, everybody lets him know that. Teehee. I've sworn to myself to protect my Fox no matter what. I saw Mulder talking to Scully about ten minutes ago but then I got distracted by Mattie's recap of an exciting homerun that he hit. There is the wonderful smell of steaks and hot dogs in the air, and I can't wait to try the delicious looking salads that the Scully women made. Ah, life is wonderful. There is a shadow looming over me all of a sudden, and I look up to see Scully's smiling face. "Walter? Could you help me? Won't take long." I smile and nod. Scully and I have agreed on 'Dana' and 'Walter' while we're here. At least that is what the rest of the family thinks. It's definitely better than 'Milady'! I disentangle myself from Mattie who squeaks in protest. "Don't worry, Mattie," Dana says. "I'll only kidnap him for a few minutes. Then he's all yours again. Okay?" Mattie thinks about this for a moment, then he nods. I ruffle his hair before excusing myself, smiling at Maggie. Then I follow Scully inside. "I haven't seen Mulder. Do you really think it's such a good idea to leave him alone? I mean, this is the perfect opportunity for him to..." I stop talking when I realize just where exactly we are heading. Upstairs, for starters. And, more precisely, towards Scully's room. I can see her overnight bag sitting by the bed when she opens the door and gestures me inside. I step inside, and feel her following me. The door slams shut. I turn around, startled, and see Scully. Fuming. Outraged. Just about to blow a gasket. I back away slowly. Oh no. Oh, dear god, no. I am so screwed. I swallow. "Scully?" Hesitantly. Why is my voice quivering so much right now, dammit? "Not a word. Not one word out of you, Muffin. Believe me, this would be the wise thing to do." Muffin? Muffin??? Ohmygod. I blanch when I realize that when I saw Mulder talking to Scully a few minutes earlier, it must've been The Talk. Why didn't he tell me before? I wanted to be there, as well, with him, helping him. Damn the man! Scully advances me slowly, and I retreat even more. "Pants down. Briefs down. Bend over." What? I mean, we're in Maggie's house, for crying out loud, and the family is down there! I shake my head adamantly. I mean, okay, she wants to punish me, fine. I'm game. But not here. No way, no how. "Now, Muffin." This scary too calm voice. I swallow convulsively. "But...but Dana...Milady...but..." "Now, Muffin, and I mean it!" Okay, so she's getting louder. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. "But your mom and the rest of the family is-" "Yes, I know. And believe me, they will ask themselves where you're hiding if you don't hurry up. We can get this over with quickly, and nobody will be the wiser, or you can drag it out and my mom will start looking for you. What's it gonna be, Muffin?" My jeans and briefs pool around my ankles, and I lean over the wooden foot rest of her bed in five seconds flat. So much for not making a scene in front of her mother. Thank you so much, Mulder. Guess who's gonna be busy with tape surveillance the next millennium or two? Scully caresses my butt lovingly, but I've already learned that this only leads to a spanking or paddling so I really am not enjoying this too much. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door, and I nearly jump out of my skin. Scully pushes me back into position, however. I start to tremble. "Come in, Schmolly." I squeeze my eyes shut, willing this to really be Mulder because otherwise, I swear to god, I will grab my service weapon and shoot myself right here, right now. I hear the door open and then close again, and soft footsteps coming towards us. "I've gotten everything you asked for, Milady." Thank god! Mulder's melodic monotone. I sigh in relief. Then I realize that there is really nothing to be relieved about, so I tense up again. There's some rustling behind me, then I feel something weird on my butt. "I advise you to keep quiet, Muffin. We wouldn't want the others to hear you, would we?" I shake my head but give a startled yelp anyway when I feel the first blow. This must be a wooden spoon or some such! I can't believe Scully uses this thing! I mean, this is Maggie's spoon! She will use it to stir her beef stew next week, or something! Please, god, take me now. I actually manage to stay quiet for the most part though this thing hurts like hell. Scully makes sure that my entire butt and upper thighs are dark red before she finally lets me up. I angrily wipe my tears away, and stare at Mulder for the first time. He stands a couple of feet away, his head down, the picture of pure misery. My heart melts instantly. All I want to do right now is take him in my arms, hug him tight, and kiss him to make it all better. And that even though *I* just got my ass thoroughly spanked. Or spooned. Whatever. "Corner, Muffin. No rubbing. Hands on that sexy bald head of yours. And no, the pants stay down!" Damn! I shuffle to the corner, and put my hands on my head. There is a bureau with a mirror on top right next to me, and I'm able to watch what happens to Mulder next. Actually, I have to bite the inside of my cheek pretty hard to quell the cry of pure outrage when I watch Scully taking off Mulder's tee shirt. She begins to lick and suck his nipples! Hello? I just got punished, and he receives some TLC? Hello??? Mulder moans and throws his head back. I have to swallow again. There is nothing more erotic than Mulder in the throes of passion, and I'm having the best seat in the house right now. Scully gently bites one nipple while tweaking the other between thumb and index finger, then she switches. Oh god. Is that part of my punishment? Did she hope I'd watch in the mirror? Apparently not, because suddenly Scully stops her loving administrations, grabs her clip-on earrings in one swift move, and clamps them down over both nipples. Mulder gives a surprised yell, his hands flying towards his chest. Scully brushes them away. "Don't you dare, Schmolly!" I can see Mulder trying to breathe normally, and failing. His face clearly shows that those clip-ons are hurting his tenderized nipples. "Get dressed, Schmolly," Scully says, handing him his tee shirt. He stares at her, aghast. "And I suggest you'll get your denim shirt as well. Just in case the, um, clamps show." Scully gives one of her truly evil grins, and tweaks one of the earrings. Mulder yelps again. She's right. Though those are rather tiny earrings, they still show through the tee shirt. Mulder looks at his chest dejectedly. "Just get your shirt when we're finished here, Schmolly. Don't worry. Nobody will be able to see anything when you're wearing it." "Yes, Milady," Mulder mumbles, clearly not looking forward to wear a heavy denim shirt on a hot summer day. "Pants down, Schmolly. And you, peeping tom, come here." Scully snaps her fingers, and I shuffle towards her. Mulder and I look at each other. Misery loves company. Right now, we're soulmates. Scully rummages through the stuff that Mulder has brought, before holding up two shoe laces triumphantly. "Very good," she exclaims, throwing them on the bed next to us. Then she picks up what looks like hand lotion. "Well, I'm not carrying lube around, so..." She lets the sentence hanging like this, and I swallow again. Lube? For what? Scully rummages through her overnight bag, then she holds my beloved buttplug under my nose. "You forgot to take it with you Thursday morning. I wanted to give it to you today. After all, I want to have you stretched nicely. We want to start the serious ass play soon, right?" Guess so. Whatever. I look at her sullenly. "Good thing, too, that you forgot to take it with you. Otherwise I wouldn't have it handy now." Yeah, lucky us. She orders us to bend over the foot rest again. Lubricating her fingers with that lotion, she first slips one, then two, then three fingers inside of me. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy this. Usually. But not when my entire ass is on fire. And Maggie is downstairs! Scully removes her fingers, and I expect that friggin' buttplug to make its appearance but nothing happens. In fact, Scully turns to Mulder and liberally coats his entire ass with the sticky lotion. Mulder and I look at each other, confused. We don't dare say anything, however. When she's finished, Scully walks over to the night stand, picking up a jar. "Look at this, boys," she says, a happy smile on her face. "Mattie collected this for me. He thought his aunt might enjoy some genuine California beach! Isn't that sweet?" Her smile broadens. Well, okay, I have to admit, it *is* kinda cute. But what does that have to do with us? Now, to be more precise, it doesn't have anything to do with *me*. But with Mulder. More, much more, than he wishes. Poor chap. Scully opens the jar and takes out a handful of sand, using it to coat his butt with it. The sand sticks to his ass like a second skin. I'm absolutely positive that sitting down on *that* butt is way more painful than on mine. "I have to make sure that I thank Mattie again," Scully says, clearly enjoying this. Mulder growls, which earns him a slap on the butt. Not one grain of sand falls off! He is really in for a treat, the poor bastard. "Okay, Schmolly, up you go!" Scully puts the jar away, grabs Mulder to turn him around, then grabs something else from the table where Mulder has set down his collection. I don't know what it is because I'm still bend over but when I hear Mulder's strangled "Oh, please, no, Milady, not that" my head jerks up. Scully has Ben Gay in her hands, and she reaches for Mulder's cock and balls. Oh god. Oh no. Mulder backs away but Scully grabs his cock, and tugs until he moves towards her again. "I want you to understand something. Both of you. If you had told me about Mrs. Davis before, we could've dealt with it at home, in the playroom. This might have been more painful, but it surely would've been less humiliating. At least for the two of you. And since you decided to wait so long, *I* have decided to act swiftly and promptly. Nothing like a punishment delivered straight away. Of course I have to improvise a little here. But keep in mind that everything that is happening to you two right here right now is your own fault. Now hold still, Schmolly." With that, she smears Ben Gay all over Mulder's cock and balls. He breaks out in a sweat, and pleads with her to take it off again. Instead, Scully grabs the first shoe lace and efficiently ties it around the base of Mulder's cock. The other is used to tie and separate his balls. Ouch. Once that is accomplished, she grabs his boxers and yanks them up. "There, all done," she announces, patting Mulder's butt lovingly. "And don't you dare touch my handiwork!" Mulder is wearing one of those tight fitting boxer shorts, the ones that cling so enticingly to the butt, showing off this gorgeous ass of his. I love those boxers. Too bad that they now make sure that his basket is nicely packaged, and that the sand stays on his butt cheeks. I really don't envy him right now. Then again, I have no idea what Scully will do to me, so maybe *he* is better off than I am! After several seconds, I hear a strange clanking sound, but I don't dare turn my head. When I feel the intruder a few moments later, I know what it was. An ice cube! Yikes! Apparently, Scully licked it a little so there aren't any edges, but when she forces this thing up my butt I yelp loudly. Ohmygod, this is so cold! I shiver and open my mouth to plead with her but she slaps my butt. My *hot* butt, mind you. In which an *ice cube* is inserted! "It'll warm up sooner than you think," Scully murmurs, then I hear Mulder sucking in air (not a good sign!) and then I know why he reacted so horrified because the butt plug - which is bigger than any I have ever used - is coated with, yes, you guessed right, Ben Gay. I start babbling, pleading incoherently, begging her to take it out again, but Scully just slaps my butt affectionately before yanking my briefs up. I turn to her with tears in my eyes. "Have you ever given yourself an enema, Muffin?" My wide-eyed stare is answer enough. Hell, I don't even have an enema kit at home! "Thought so. Drive back to our house instead of your apartment, then. We've got the equipment in the bathroom. It's really the only way to get rid of any Ben Gay residue. And you *will* want to get rid of it all, believe me." Hell, I want to get rid of it right now! Scully looks over at Mulder. "Maybe the two of you should spend the night in our house, anyway. Schmolly, you could help Muffin here with the enema, and you both could lick your wounds and badmouth your Domme. Don't worry, I won't show up in the middle of the night like last time. This weekend I'll entirely spend here. So you can get drunk and play Mrs. Davis and Scully again, if you want to." She turns away to hide her grin. Great. Not only is my butt hurting, inside and out, but now my ego gets bruised as well. I steal a glance at Mulder who looks miserable, at best. We both sigh heart-breakingly. Scully turns around, and says, as if this was a mere afterthought for her, "Oh, and Muffin? You'll go and change clothes. I've seen you were at the dry cleaners. Go grab those wool trousers and wear them. Without briefs, of course." Having said that, she breezes out of the room. I stare at Mulder in utter disbelief. Wool trousers? No briefs? On my red, hot, tenderized butt? Is she kidding? Mulder sighs again and hangs his head. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. Oh Mulder. I roll my eyes, and walk to him. Stiffly. Then I grab him and give him a big hug. "I told you we should have 'fessed up long ago. Will you finally start listening to me now?" I shake him a little. He smiles hesitantly, and the tell-tale gleam in his eyes return. Thank god, I have my Fox back. "Never!" he declares proudly, and I have to laugh. I stop immediately, though, when he squeezes one of my butt cheeks, grinning impishly. Well, two can play that game, so I pat his butt until he yelps helplessly. I grin back. "Come on, let's get back. I really don't want Maggie to send in search and rescue!" Mulder nods, and we both walk back downstairs. I go straight to my car to retrieve my wool trousers, and, when I'm back in the house and about to enter the bathroom to change, see Mulder wearing his denim shirt, which he has thrown over the back of the couch in the living room earlier. Oh. My. God. This hurts. This hurts bad. I know for a fact that I won't be able to play catch with Mattie, not with those trousers and this butt. Poor little guy. I also doubt that Mulder will be in any condition to take my place. I sigh. When I open the door, I find Mulder waiting for me. Apparently he couldn't face the Scully family alone. Not that I blame him. I smile reassuringly before walking to my car to throw my jeans and briefs inside. Then I join Mulder who is still lurking in the hallway. We both sigh deeply before trotting towards the backyard. What we see there stops us short. In those ten or so minutes that we were gone, half the neighborhood showed up! There must be at least two dozen people mingling in the backyard! Mulder and I stare at each other, totally aghast. Maggie walks up to us. "Where have you been? I wanted to show you off to my friends, but you were nowhere to be found!" I stare at her, unable to say a single word. "Um, we had to...to...to do something," Mulder mumbles, very unconvincingly. Maggie gives him the patented Scully Look which really runs in the family, and I shrug helplessly. "Why are you wearing dress pants, Walter?" Maggie looks at me wide-eyed. Well, why do I wear them? Let's see. Because your daughter just paddled my butt bright red and thinks that some nice chafing would add to the humiliation. And it's working! "I had to change because-" "I opened the bottle of catsup a little too forcefully, and drowned Walter in it as if he were a french fry," Mulder says, looking like a ten year old. Maggie laughs out loud and shakes her head. "Fox, you'll never learn! You should be glad that this isn't your boss right now! Imagine this had happened at the office!" Mulder and I exchange a look that speaks volumes. We see ourselves walking around, coated in Ben Gay, and trussed up with Scully's, um, equipment, parading the Hoover. J. Edgar would be so proud of us. Maggie grabs my arm and hauls me over to meet some of her friends while Mattie spots Mulder and runs up to be cuddled. Poor guy doesn't understand why Mulder refuses to pick him up, though I think I wouldn't want to have the little body pressed against my chest as well, with those clip-ons attached to the nipples. Bill watches this and starts another rant about the way Mulder treats his boy. First he steals him from his father, now he refuses him. I am close to losing it but Maggie holds me back. Scully pops up out of nowhere, grabs her brother and shoves him inside. There's some muffled yelling coming from the kitchen, then a chastised Bill walks out on the porch again. Go Scully! My girl! Mulder actually tries to play catch with Mattie but I can see that the sand is chafing, and he grimaces constantly. I know the feeling, buddy, believe me. Thankfully, there are other kids here as well, so Mattie is able to play with them. And once I have settled down on the plush recliner again, I'm able to listen to his little league stories as well. Even though he sitting on my lap hurts a bit because it forces my butt against the wool trousers, I'm happy to have the little guy in my arms. I think I could live with the red butt if the Ben Gay coated plug wasn't shoved up my ass. Watching Mulder twitching and turning, I think he's having similar problems. Even though I have a really good time here, I wonder when I'll be able to leave without being impolite. Scully walks up to me, giving Mattie a kiss on the top of his head. He grins up at her. "Everything okay?" she asks, looking at me searchingly. "What do you think," I reply, a little sullenly. She raises her eyebrow. Okay, tactical retreat. "I'm having a great time with Mattie here. He's gonna be a famous baseball star, so I guess I should get my autographs now!" Scully laughs, and ruffles Mattie's hair. "Yeah, he just loves his little league. Don't you, sweetheart?" Mattie nods solemnly. "Listen, cutie, would you give me a few minutes with Walter? Why don't you go help grandma serving the dishes, hmm?" Mattie beams, obviously proud that his aunt thinks he's old enough to handle this job, and jumps off my lap. I wince slightly. "Hurts, eh?" I give Scully a dirty look. Whaddya think, Red? Of course it hurts! "Look, I'm sorry about all this. And I know that I promised that we would be AD Skinner and Agent Scully here. Of course, I didn't know Mulder would pull *this* out of his hat! I just think that this is the best way to deal with the two of you right now." I nod, hesitantly. I guess she really is right. "Why didn't you stop him, Walter?" My head snaps up in surprise. Scully looks at me keenly, searchingly. I can see that she is worried, almost scared. "I tried. I really did. I'm sorry," I say, staring at my hands in my lap. Scully sighs. "Well, I'm glad you were with him. Especially on the yacht. We both know how mercurial he is at times, and I'm afraid he's going to do something really stupid next time." "There won't be a next time. I promise." "I know. Thank you." Scully smiles at me, an open smile. Genuine. From the heart. I am so helplessly in love with that woman at this moment it hurts. "I would give you a kiss now but I think my mom wouldn't appreciate that." "Not to mention Bill," I retort. "Oh, I don't think he'd have a problem with you. Now, Mulder on that other hand..." We both laugh out loud. "What's so funny? You laughing about me, right? About the way I walk? Well, no wonder, the way I'm being tortured by a certain redhead right now!" Mulder plops down on the foot rest of the recliner, then he winces. "Why do I keep forgetting about the genuine California beach until it's too late, anyway?" He sighs, and both Scully and I laugh even louder. At that moment, Maggie decides to make an appearance. "Dinner is being served," she announces solemnly before breaking into a grin. The three of us smile back. Maggie turns to Mulder, her intentions pretty obvious. Feed the lanky boy. "Fox, can I get you anything? What would you like?" Mulder's answer totally floors me. "A muffin would be nice," he mumbles, and I swear his hand brushes against my thigh when he says this. My mouth drops open. Scully gives me a truly leering glance, and adds, "Oh yeah. A muffin would be perfect now." Mulder turns to exchange a knowing look with our Lady Enigma, and I blush furiously. Would the ground please open up and swallow me whole? Now would be a good time... "Sorry, you two, but we don't have any muffins..." Maggie is obviously confused that both Mulder and Scully have a craving for this particular dessert. Scully shrugs. "That's okay, mom. Never mind. I just had the sudden urge to sink my teeth in a delicious, chocolate covered muffin...one of those soft and tasty ones...they are really hard to find, actually..." "Oh yeah," Mulder chimes in. "The worst thing is, once you've found exactly the muffin you've been looking for all your life, you don't want any other. It's addictive, really. And we sure did find the best muffin in the world." He sighs deeply and contentedly. I blush even more. "The bestest," Scully adds, squeezing my hand quickly. Maggie stands in front of us, totally confused. "Well, why don't you bring some of your 'bestest muffins' with you the next time you're coming?" she suggests, clearly at a loss what else to say. I groan inwardly. Believe me, Maggie, you're digging yourself into a very deep hole, and you don't even know it! "Oh, we might just do that," Scully exclaims, clearly enjoying all of this. "But *I* ain't sharing," Mulder states, his hand now very definitely squeezing my thigh. Then he gives me an irritating wink, and gets up, a bit stiffly. "I'm sure I'll find something else that tastes good." He offers Maggie his arm to escort her to the barbecue grill. "Just make sure *you* pick my steak. I don't want to be poisoned by your son, you know." Maggie slaps him on his arm, and shakes her head in mock frustration. Scully gives me another grin. "That was fun," she announces. I borrow my head in my hands. Which only makes her laugh out loud. "Come on," she says, tugging at my arm. "Let's eat!" Then she leans closer, and whispers in my ear, "Muffin." I hate this place. ***** The food is delicious, the company delightful (for the most part, at least), and the firework is absolutely breath-taking. Bill shows off his skills in using a cigarette lighter, and lets himself be admired. Maggie walks up to me, and squeezes my arm while we're both watching the exploding reds and blues in the sky. After a few moments, she gently nudges me and cocks her head to the side. I follow her gaze and see Mulder and Scully, standing close to each other. Scully leans back into Mulder's chest carefully as if not to hurt his nipples, and he has his arms wrapped around her tiny body. They watch the sky, even though she obviously concentrates more on the man standing behind her. His face is glowing with child-like wonder. It is an absolutely beautiful sight. Maggie smiles at me, and I wink. Yes, those two are totally and helplessly in love. Maggie, you are a smart woman. But you still don't know the half of it. Several minutes later, Maggie slowly walks over to her daughter, making enough noise to be heard over the firework. Scully and Mulder disentangle, and I think they even blush a little. A few moments later, Mulder excuses himself and walks up to me, a broad smile on his face. "We'll leave once the show is over, okay?" I nod. "Show is right," I mumble, nodding my head towards Showman Bill. Mulder sighs. "Yeah. Isn't he the genuine Las Vegas attraction?" He shakes his head. "You know, the way he's been acting today, I think *we* were the wrong people on the receiving end!" I give him a blank look. Mulder rolls his eyes. Could I really be that dumb? "Bill should really be spanked one of these days," he almost yells, and my eyes widen in shock for a moment, desperately hoping that nobody has overheard him just now. "You'd be surprised," I hear a female voice behind us, and when I turn around, I see Tara walking away. Mulder and I stare at each other, unsure whether or not we have actually heard right. We look at Tara again, but she doesn't give us any clue. Maybe it really was just our imagination running wild. Then again, maybe not. Mulder and I grin at each other. "I think this isn't such a bad day, after all," he comments after several moments. "No. Definitely not that bad," I second. We watch the sky in silence until the fireworks are over. Then we simultaneously look at Scully and Maggie. Both of them are smiling at us. Mulder breaks into another of his heart-stopping smiles. "Definitely a good day," he says. "Definitely," I second. And it's going to be an even better day once I have that damned plug out of my butt. And Mulder's thumb inside. Definitely. THE END OF CHAPTER EIGHT. Feedback, suggestions and comments: You betcha! Love it! Need it! Gimme, gimme, gimme! (as long as it's friendly...) Send it to Gaby!