A BRIGHT LIGHT IN A DARK WORLD
By LaurieBDS 
 
 
When the sunshine hit me in the face, it made me wince. Quite
frankly, it also took me by surprise. How could the sun be shining
after all that happened in that bank over the last 36 hours? Like
vampire lore, evil should be confined to the dark, transformed to
dust if hit by sunshine; but no, he was still there. Fisher was on
the stretcher currently being loaded into an ambulance.
 
As I left the building, I was flanked by Skinner and McGavin, the
bank manager. Skinner had finally insisted he be allowed to take
me out to the paramedics to have my shoulder looked at. As we
descended the steps, I looked down and to the left, and smiled
when I saw the other survivors greeted by their loved ones.
 
There was little Casey, safe in her father's arms at last. She
looked over her father's shoulder as the police guided them through
the assorted pack of press members. I caught her eye and smiled.
I was rewarded with a smile and tentative wave. Thank God she was
okay!!
 
I turned to look at Skinner. I wanted him to see her, safe. He
deserved it. He noticed Casey and smiled a little in greeting.
I actually thought in that moment, "we won this one." Maybe it was
just a battle and not the war, but damn it, the good guys took the
day!
 
When I turned back to Casey again, she had a brave smile on her
face as she looked at Skinner, but her eyes were large and fearful.
She was ten, things were still pretty black and white to
her. She had a hard time reconciling the fact that the man who saved her
life was the man she saw brutally attack Fisher. I couldn't blame
her for that reaction, but I mourned it none the less.
 
I closed my eyes to the look on Casey's face. To tell you the
truth, I was pretty hazy. People say "flesh wound" like no big
deal. Well let me tell you, it hurts like a son of a bitch, and
at that moment, I didn't know how seriously I was injured.
 
But I digress,...Skinner lost it, there was no question. When he
saw Fisher unleash his erection to rape 10-year-old Casey, he forgot
everything the FBI had drilled into him. I don't know how he
managed it, but while still handcuffed, he charged Fisher. In point
of fact, Skinner should be dead right now. After all, Fisher' had
his gun in his hand for just such a contingency. Charging Fisher
could have meant not only Skinner's death, but Casey's or another
hostage, and four had died already. Skinner's action was stupid,..
but it worked, and who am I to question success.
 
I think Fisher was just so surprised he forgot to react. Before
anyone knew it, Skinner's bulk was on top of him. Skinner's arms
were handcuffed in front of him and he just got a hold of Fisher
and wouldn't let go. He head-butted him over and over again, the
gun in Fisher' hand flailing as the blows fell.
 
I don't remember getting up, but suddenly I was in the middle of
the fray, trying to get Casey out of their way. I think I was more
concerned the two men would roll right over her, than that a stray
shot would hit her, but it was the stray shot that I ended up
taking in the shoulder. I don't think I knew I was hit at first,
not until I got Casey in the corner of the room, away from the men.
 
I had to admit Skinner was scarier in that moment than Fisher. I
was sure Skinner was going to kill him. Maybe Fisher will still die,
I don't know. I'm sure he must have a concussion. Hell, Skinner
should have a concussion, but all he ended up with was a gash over
his eyebrow and a bruise on his forehead.
 
All of a sudden, Skinner stopped, several moments actually after
Fisher had last moved. He rolled off of him and lay there in the
middle of the floor gazing at the ceiling.
 
I'll tell you, everybody in that bank knows that they owe their
life to Skinner, but what he did to win our lives sure doesn't
inspire the warm fuzzies.
 
I never got the chance to see Skinner's reaction to Casey because
a couple of people scrambled up the steps toward us. The first few
people raced past me to McGavin, apparently his family. Suddenly,
Scully was in front of me standing with her hands on her hips and
her lips pursed. God love her, I'd have it no other way.
 
"Mulder, this is getting old," she complained, aware I was injured
again. When she saw the blood seeping through my fingers,
concern replaced exasperation. "Has anyone looked at it?" she
asked as she walked up the two remaining steps to me and peeled my
hand away from my shoulder so she could look at it.
 
I have never told her this, but I don't think she has the best bed-
side manner in the world. When she pokes and prods at an injury,
it hurts like hell! It's a good thing her patients are generally
beyond feeling.
 
By this point, McGavin's family had spirited him away down the
steps. To Scully's credit, after she assured herself I'd live in
spite of the bullet, she started to look around for Skinner. She
was greeted with his back several steps below her. She turned just
in time to see him shrug off paramedics and sic them on me.
 
Scully gave me the "look," wanting an answer to her unspoken
question concerning Skinner's condition.
 
"He's okay, Scully. He'll probably have quite a headache," I
joked.
 
We both looked back to him. He was already at the bottom of the
steps, issuing orders to the other FBI in attendance. The man was
a rock.
 
Scully kind of shrugged and returned her attention to me. "Come
on, let's get that looked at." I was just relieved she was going
to hand me over to someone else for the deed.
 
I ended up sitting in the door of the ambulance while a paramedic
worked me over. As he worked, Scully's expression returned to one
of annoyance. She was probably pissed I wasn't more injured given
the worry I put her through.
 
As I gazed out over the parking lot, I noticed Skinner again,
talking to McDaniel. As I watched, McDaniel nodded and took off
into the bank, leaving Skinner standing alone near the edge of the
lot. He was looking around him again, taking in the press and
police. But it was the hostages and their families that garnered
his attention for the longest time, his stoic mask in place all
the while.
 
After a while, he looked down at the ground, and then turned
around. Where was he going? He seemed to be heading for the wood
slat fence at the edge of the parking lot. The fence was just
beyond the a curb of grass that bordered the lot. As he stepped
up on the curb, he stumbled slightly before making it to the fence.
He leaned on the fence heavily for a moment, but just a moment.
He just stopped there, clutching the fence, staring into the
parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly next door.
 
"Scully?" I called, finally finding her to my right. She was
talking with my paramedic.
 
She looked at me expectantly. I motioned to Skinner with my chin.
She turned to look in the direction I indicated. When Scully
looked back to me, I nodded, and she took off in Skinner's
direction.
 
I watched her approach him. She came up short several feet behind
him. She must have said something to him because he suddenly
straightened, regaining that unconscious military bearing. His
head turned over his shoulder, but he wasn't really looking at her
as he responded.
 
I'm not a mind reader, or a lip reader for that matter, but I will
remind you that I am a gifted profiler. That's why I was in that
bank in the first place. I could almost hear his voice: "I'm fine,
Scully."
 
"Come on, Scully," I thought. "You of all people should see
through that one."
 
She hesitated a moment before taking another step toward him. When
she said something this time, he turned, a little exasperated that
she wasn't taking his word for it. I cursed him for slipping into
his surly routine, but was gratified that Scully didn't seem
intimidated by it. "He's full of shit, and you know it," I thought
at her.
 
She was right before him now, hands on her hips, not at all pleased
with him. He must have turned the conversation to me, because I
saw him scan the crowd as if searching for someone. She turned
and looked at me, probably giving him some heavy duty medical
jargon. When his eyes found me, he sighed heavily, probably
releasing another dose of guilt into his system over my shoulder
wound.
 
He nodded to Scully as she spoke, and closed his eyes for a second
as he listened to her. He opened his eyes and cocked his head in
my direction as he responded, and then glanced at the bank
building. He was probably directing her to take me home or to the
hospital while he wrapped things up. He started to turn back away
from her, but she caught his arm. He seemed surprised as he looked
back down at her. Before he could react, she took several steps
forward, wrapping her arms around his waist within his trench coat.
 
He looked absolutely stunned, and you won't believe this from
Walter Skinner, but down right bashful. I couldn't help but smile
at his discomfort. Yep, Skinner, you have people that care about
you, too. He finally placed his hands delicately on her shoulders,
kind of patting her as if to say: "Okay, Scully, this was nice,
you can let go of me now."
 
She didn't budge, but seemed to hug him all the fiercer. His eyes
darted around, almost for help. He tried looking up, too, before
closing his eyes in confusion and exhaustion. After a few moments,
when it became apparent she wasn't going anywhere, he took a deep
breath. It seemed to get caught in his throat.
 
He finally gave in and wrapped a shaky arm around her, too. His
other hand reached up to cradle her head. He finally leaned down
and rested his chin on her head. They stayed in that position for
a long time, just holding each other.
 
When they finally started to pull away from each other, they both
looked a little embarrassed. Hey! Give them a break, public
displays of affection are not their thing. Hell, some would argue private
displays of affection are not their thing. Scully looked up at
him with a small smile of acceptance that everybody needed a hug
sometimes.
 
I figured they'd be heading my way soon, so I hopped down from the
ambulance, ready to get moving. I turned around to thank the
paramedic. When I turned back again to gage their progress, they
were still standing there looking at each other, Scully's smile
having faded.
 
As I watched, Scully got up on tiptoe and planted a kiss right on
Skinner's mouth. She pulled back slightly, as if *gauging* his
reaction. This time, they both moved to meet each other. The kiss
wasn't one of raging passion, but of the slow and tender variety.
My first thought was: "It's just a friendly kiss. Sure, friendly."
But it wasn't a friendship kiss, and I knew it.
 
When I look back to my reaction, I'll try to think of that part of
me that felt relief, and maybe gladness that the two people in the
world I trust and care about most could maybe find a little
happiness. After all, I know how profoundly lonely they both are,
I just choose not to dwell on it.
 
The other part of my reaction came as a complete surprise to
me: I felt betrayed, and scared to death I was losing something.
Anger bubbled up from somewhere within me as I turned away from
them to pace the parking lot. Jesus! I sent her over to him. I
was being a friend, concerned how he was doing....
 
I looked at them again. They were pulling away from each other.
This time, however, they couldn't look at each other. A few words
were spoken back and forth before they turned to make their way
back to me. They looked up separately as they crossed the parking
lot, both sets of eyes darting away from mine almost immediately.
Scully was decidedly red as she walked up to me.
 
"Ready to go?" she asked, never really looking at me.
 
I didn't answer, but looked to Skinner. He didn't fail to meet my
eyes, that wouldn't have been his way. Instead, his eyes were
filled with remorse, for he spun this the same way I did, he
believed he betrayed me.
 
I knew right then and there their thoughts were on me, right along
with my thoughts actually. Yep. All three of us were very
concerned about Fox Mulder. And I knew I wouldn't have to do a
thing, this would never happen again. (You'll have to trust me on
this last - profiler thing again).
 
God damn, but I'm a selfish son of a bitch! I was still coming
off my righteous indignation, however, and you'll forgive me if I
took awhile to do the right thing.
 
Scully rallied like the trooper she is. She got stubborn and
decided she would drive us both home. Skinner and I can both be
stubborn and scary in turn, but it's Scully that gets the most
respect in this situation. We gave a few half-hearted arguments
in response, but ended up in the back seat of her car just the
same.
 
When we got to Skinner's condo, she inquired whether he had a guest
bedroom. When he said yes, she declared that we were all going in
as I could stay in the guest bedroom. It was 7 a.m., she'd work
from Skinner's computer while we slept. That way she would be
around if either of us needed anything.
 
It kind of made sense actually. After all, it was just recently
that I acquired a bedroom, let alone a guest bedroom. Scully had
a one bedroom apartment as well.
 
All went according to Scully's plan. Skinner had some extra sweats
for me. Scully checked the dressing on my shoulder, dressed the
cuts on Skinner's head and gave us some Tylenol. She finally made
us some grilled cheese and soup and sent us to bed.
 
Frankly, I thought Skinner was being very sheepish about this whole
situation. Wasn't this just about the time he told us in no
uncertain terms to go home? I guess I shouldn't have been
surprised after all that happened over the last two days. I think
he just didn't want to be alone, and he could allow himself the
luxury of company if it was forced upon him.
 
I didn't wake up until that evening. It had to be after 8 p.m. The
condo was dark, which I found odd. Where was Scully? I walked
down the stairs to get some orange juice, and saw Scully standing
in the door of the balcony. I startled her when I walked up
to her. Apparently, she was lost in thought. She hastily wiped
her eyes.
 
"Scully?" I asked her.
 
She smiled at me and shrugged. "How are you doing?" she inquired
back.
 
I shrugged back at her. The shoulder was killing me, shrugging
didn't help, but I was nothing if not stoic.
 
I looked at her standing there, a tear still in the corner of her
eye. She's been through a lot, and yet, I've barely ever seen her
cry; not that she was making a very good show of it now, mind you,
but it was crying for Scully.
 
She looked so confused, and lonely, and...tired. I think we all
were confused by what happened in the parking lot that day, but I
knew I had the least right to be surprised. I have known for a
couple of years now that Skinner is in love with Scully, I just
didn't admit it to myself.
 
There have even been times when I've thought of telling her about
the deal he made for her. I told myself I shouldn't out of loyalty
to Skinner, even when she suspected he was one of the men who gave
her her cancer. That's how I'm going to leave it, though. I don't
want to explore that side of myself too closely.
 
But, hey, he betrayed me in the parking lot of that bank, didn't
he? He'd admit it and willingly suffer penance, wouldn't he? So,
how can I be expected to find obligation on his behalf? What
loyalty to him should still bind me after his betrayal? I decided
to betray his confidence right then and there - that would show
him!
 
Half an hour later, I told Scully the guestroom was hers. I'd be
more comfortable on the couch. She patted my knee, stood up from
the couch where she had been sitting next to me and began to make
her way upstairs. There was still no light on in the condo, but
I could make her out as she went up. She hesitated at the top of
the stairs, standing just outside the door of the master bedroom.
It was open a crack, I knew, from walking by it earlier. It took
her several moments, but she pushed the door open and stepped
inside. She didn't close the door again behind her, but left it
open.
 
In my mind's eye, I could see her walk up to his bed. She'd stare
down for a while, her mind still whirling away. But finally, she'd
pick up the bed clothes and slip in beside him. He was pretty
exhausted, I don't see him waking up, but I think he's dreamt this
moment enough times to pull her close and whisper her name. That
would do it for her. She'd know she was where she belonged, and
the smile that has been missing for far too long would steal across
her face. And maybe in time, her tears would fall as she nestled
in the safety of his arms.
 
I thought I'd feel a loss, like someone stole an integral part of
me, seeing her walk through that door. Instead, I felt whole for
the first time in a long time....Go figure.
 
THE END
 
Let me know what you think: Lauriebds@aol.com