Reparations - Epilogue By amokeh Date: October 25, 1999 - March 1, 2000 Rating: NC17 baby! With lots of schmoop on the side.... Category: Skinner/Scully Spoilers: Reparations parts 1-4 Disclaimer: I don’t own any of them. If I did, it would have to air on HBO, Showtime or the Playboy channel. Author's Note: Yes, this took me 5 months to finish, and I don't want to hear about it! LOL! I had wanted to get this finished before the premiere, but RL forced me to put this project on the back burner for a couple of months, so I guess I’m happy just to have it done at all; who cares about a deadline! Anyway, thanks to all who’ve emailed me on this series. I appreciated it tons, you have no idea. POSITIVE Feedback: If you like this story, email me dammit! at amokeh@aol.com Reparations - Epilogue by amokeh The reports of rifles echoed loudly behind her, but Special Agent Dana Scully barely noticed them, her attention focused on the triangle of red, white and blue in the arms of the young Marine in his dress blues. They had pulled out all the stops for the funeral in Arlington National Cemetery. After all, it wasn’t every day an assistant director of the F.B.I. died while apprehending a known felon and traitor. Walter S. Skinner had rated not only a full Marine escort but the presence of the President of the United States as well. Scully hadn’t heard much of the president’s eulogy for the fallen assistant director, but seemed to remember the words "honorable" and "integrity" being spoken more than once. Her eyes swimming with tears, she couldn’t tear her thoughts away from her supervisor, her lover, lying cold in the flag-draped coffin. Her only comfort came from Fox Mulder standing by her side, his silent support showing in an occasional touch on her arm, his understanding of the grief she was barely holding at bay shining in his soft, hazel eyes. Mulder. After the hospital orderlies had taken Walter -no, Walter’s body - away, she had returned to Mulder’s side and administered the alien vaccine. The effects had been almost instantaneous. Mulder’s eyes had snapped open and he tried to sit up, frantic to get out of the bed. Dana had tried to restrain him until he had croaked out, "Skinner! Scully you have to stop Krycek! You have to..." He stopped dead when he realized she had gone still against him. He looked at her, really looked at her then and saw the pain in her eyes. His voice soft, he said, "It’s too late, isn’t it?" It wasn’t a question, really. Whatever psychic abilities he had acquired from the alien presence infesting him had shown him enough to draw his own conclusions. He didn’t say another word. He simply drew her against him, allowing her to sob against his chest as he gently stroked her hair, rocking her back and forth. Although Mulder had been weak, he insisted he was strong enough to travel back to D.C. with Scully and the body. The body. Dana shuddered, her eyes shutting tightly as she dropped her gaze from the gleaming silver coffin, the sound of the lonely bugle filling her ears. She had passed the last ten days since Walter’s death in a state of shock; functional but unaware of any events transpiring around her. It was Mulder who watched over her, hovering, always there with a reassuring hug, a knowing, sympathetic look. God! She had missed him so much while he was comatose; having him with her now was a godsend, but, at the same time only served to remind her of how much she had lost. Who she had lost. Mulder nudged her shoulder with his own and she looked up, her reverie broken. The service was over and the line of Marines filed out with military precision, followed slowly by the attending throng. She waited until most of the people had cleared and then made her way hesitantly towards the coffin. Mulder began to follow her but stopped when she shook her head without looking back at him as she approached the flower-strewn dais. He watched her for a moment and then turned quietly to head back to their parked car, leaving her to deal with her grief in private. Dana stopped just before the platform, suddenly unsure if she could take the next step. After a moment of garnering her fortitude, she stepped up to the shiny coffin and rested her hand on its cool surface, trying to feel the spirit and strength of the man who lay beneath it. She closed her eyes, the pain and sorrow welling up in her until she began to silently cry, her tears running down her already stained and swollen cheeks. Pressing her hand flat against the unyielding metal, she looked up at clear blue sky. The beauty of the day had not escaped her. Walter deserved a beautiful day like this. It was as if even the sun was paying its respects to the man who had driven away her loneliness. The emptiness he had filled returned in full force as her gaze fell again to the coffin before her. And then, she just couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t hold it back; the flood of anger, of despair. "Why, Walter?" Her words were choked with her emotion, her voice breaking as she continued, "Why did you leave me? I need you...so..." Her hands flew to her face as her sobs finally burst free from her chest. Her tears fell unchecked, and her voice was hoarse as she cried softly, "I can’t do this without you...I can’t....I can’t do this alone...Oh god, Wa-tuh-r..." She rocked back and forth on her heels, hugging her arms around her chest tightly, her hands clutching at her suit coat as she continued to brokenly chant his name. "Walt- er...oh, Walt-.... oh....god...." "Dana!" Suddenly she felt someone shaking her gently, calling her name urgently. "Dana! Come on, baby, wake up please!" She opened her eyes to see worried chocolate brown eyes hovering over her. With a gasping sob she threw her arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him desperately against her. "Oh, Walter," she cried out, sobbing against his hard, blessedly warm chest. "Oh god, Walter..." Her words dissolved into sobs and she shook in his arms, the full force of her nightmare hitting her hard as she burrowed deeper into his protective embrace. Walter gathered her tightly against him, rolling them to their sides. He freed one hand to pull the comforter up around her shoulders, trying to warm her and quell the shudders that wracked her tiny shoulders as she clutched at him, sobbing. He closed his eyes as he pressed his lips against her soft, fragrant hair, trying to kiss away her fears, her cries. This was the fourth night in a row she had experienced nightmares since their return to D.C., each one ending with her crying out his name in despair. It was several minutes before her sobs subsided to a sniffle, wetly muted against Walter’s tear-soaked chest. He continued to hold her close, rubbing her back, murmuring nonsense to soothe her. When finally she lay silent against him, he asked softly, "Same one tonight?" He felt her nod beneath his chin. Slowly, gently, he pulled slightly away from her and tugged lightly on the hair at the nape of her neck to get her to lift her gaze to his. His eyes, though serious, were filled with his love and devotion to her. "You didn’t lose me, Dana. You saved me," he asserted softly. "Remember it." She nodded, and again laid her cheek against the warm pillow of his chest, letting the memories, real this time, flood through her mind, displacing the fears that caused her recurring nightmare, as she gently traced the still vivid bruises along his muscular torso and arms with her fingertips. She was draped across him, her hand clutching at his large, lifeless one, when she looked down at where their hands were joined, shakily tracing the lines of his palm with her fingers, remembering how those hands had felt on her, in her, caressing her in a way she had never known possible. That’s when she had seen it. Lying there so innocently just beyond his reach. Quickly, she had scrambled off of him, grabbing the hateful device and desperately tearing open the cover. The red LED indicator was all the way to the top of the bar at its maximum level of intensity. Desperation and grief made her clumsy, and it took her a couple of fumbling tries to pull the stylus out of its groove next to the lit panel. She hastily ran the tip of the stylus from the top of the bar to the bottom, effectively extinguishing the menacing red light . She was rewarded with Walter’s gasping breath behind her. "Dana!" he had cried hoarsely, reaching out blindly for her and she turned quickly to him, yelling at the stunned nurses and medical techs on the stairs above for assistance, her eyes never leaving Walter’s as over and over in her mind she kept repeating, oh thank you god, thank you thank you.... That same mantra wove through her as she again raised her head to look into Walter’s face. Although the room was dark, it was easy to see the love reflected in his warm eyes. The warmth turned to a smoldering heat as her hand stopped its gentle tracing and began a sensual caress of his ridged abs, and continued purposefully over his hips to knead one firm globe of his ass. Walter’s nostrils flared with his sharp intake of breath as her hand ran down between his legs to gently cup his scrotum. He moaned softly as her tongue snaked out between her pink lips to lave his nipple, its circling motion mimicking the caress of her fingertips around his heavy sac. His hands began their own journey across her shoulder blades, one sliding up to tangle in her coppery hair, the other heading south to pull her groin more firmly against his own. She lifted her head away from his nipple, her face flushed with renewed desire and murmured seductively, "Mmmm, well, part of you is definitely still alive." She ground her pubis against his fully erect penis, accentuating her words. His grin was feral as he whispered back, "That’s not the only part," and pulled back on her hair to grant him better access to her lush mouth. His lips descended firmly on hers, and it was Dana’s turn to moan as their tongues met and mated, each leisurely stroking every millimeter of the other with exquisite sensuality. When he finally pulled away to trail kisses down her chin and throat, she had to gasp for air, the force of her arousal making it difficult for her to breathe. Walter’s lips and tongue began to circle her left nipple as he gently pushed her to her back, his fingers leaving the silk of her hair to run down her arm and capture her slender hand, pressing it into the bed as his mouth continued its sensuous assault against her breast. She moaned again and tried to grip the fringe of hair at the back of his neck in an attempt to increase the contact between the hot wetness of his mouth and her aching flesh. He responded to her silent urging and opened his lips wide against her, drawing as much of her breast as he could into his mouth, his cheeks creating a soft suction which made her moan even louder. She clutched at his shoulder, losing herself in the incredible sensations he was arousing, but then a vivid image flashed in her mind, followed quickly by another, drawing her attention away from Walter’s ardent ministrations. Recognizing the images as true memories this time, she allowed them to wash over her hoping they would drive away the last vestiges of her nightmares. Walter, gasping, cradled in her arms as the nurses swarmed around them, trying to get a stretcher to him, under him. She helped them settle him on the flimsy looking piece of canvas, then took his hand as the group of them struggled up the stairs, Krycek’s body all but forgotten as they stepped over it, navigating the wide steps. His eyes remained locked with hers, his hand gripping hers firmly with the steady strength she had come to expect from him. They moved him quickly to a room, buzzing around his bed like bees, hooking him up to monitors, drawing his blood, inserting an IV - all the while Dana stood next to him, clutching his hand to her chest, trying to pour all the love and trust and joy she felt through their connected hands and gaze, trying to pour her strength into him. The sound of Walter’s voice drew her out of her reverie. "Dana," he husked, "what is it? What are you thinking? You seem so far away..." She opened her eyes and saw Walter’s face directly above hers. She had been so involved in the memory that she hadn’t felt him leave her breast and move to cover her body with his own. She shook her head gently, smiling at her lack of attention as she drew her free hand up his muscular back, her other still clasped in his. "I was thinking of after...after you resuscitated." Her voice was soft as she continued. "When you were lying in the hospital bed, and all those orderlies were rushing around us, trying to get you hooked up to monitors, but I didn’t notice any of them. You were all I could see, all I could feel. That you were still here, with me - that was the most important thing." He nodded, remembering. "And I just stood there beside you, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from yours. I was just feeling so much, so much, but I couldn’t begin to express it. I was...so relieved, but afraid, too. Scared of how I had almost lost you." Walter caressed her cheek tenderly, his large hand almost eclipsing her tiny features. His soft brown eyes locked with her blue ones, both pairs shining with emotion. "I know exactly what you mean," he agreed quietly. "I was lying there, holding on to you and thinking how I had almost lost you, too, and how thankful I was." He kissed the tip of her nose and then caressed each brow with his soft, warm lips, closing her eyes with his loving touches as he danced kisses across her face. His lips met hers in a full, impassioned kiss and her tears finally fell down the sides of her head to wet her hair. Walter kissed her deeply, communicating his love with his mouth and his body undulating sensuously, feather-like against hers, his hand gently wiping away the wetness on her face. Their clasped hands provided support for him and a tether for her - a life-line from the brink of where they had come, and suddenly all thoughts of the past fled Dana’s mind and she wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him tightly to her and again slid her hand between his legs to caress the hard length of him which was pressing insistently between her folds. Walter drew away slightly, his breath shuddering out of him at her touch. His heavy- lidded eyes, black with passion probed hers, an unspoken question simmering between them. She answered by tightening the grip of her thighs around him and thrusting her wet, hot center against his equally hot, incredibly hard shaft. She didn’t want any more foreplay; she needed him in her, now, reminding them both of how alive they really were. He immediately complied by lifting his hips and unerringly sliding home inside of her with one long thrust. They both moaned at the sense of completion, of unity, and Walter began to stroke inside of her slowly, as her eyes slid shut in ecstasy, her hips thrusting against him in counterpoint, urging him to move faster. His hand left her face and caressed down her body, gently kneading her breasts and flicking the nipples in time with his thrusts before continuing down to where their bodies were joined. At the touch of his thumb against her clit she moaned, shaking her head; it was too much, too much. He murmured an apology against her lips and pulled his hand away, letting it slide around her thigh to grip her hip firmly, pulling her even harder against him as he kept up his constant pumping motion, the sculpted muscles of his ass clenching and unclenching in perfect rhythm. Dana opened her eyes to see Walter’s face above her, his eyes shut in concentration, the sweat beading on his scalp and forehead from the effort of keeping a slow, constant rhythm. She squeezed his hand in hers, and his eyes opened, immediately centering on her face. Seeing her watching him, he smiled - a lazy, sensual smile that turned what was left of her body to jello. Walter lowered his lips to hers reverently while his hand left her hip and sought out hers against his back. He kissed her deeply and brought their hands above their heads, forcing their bodies to arch against the other’s, pulling them both in a sensual stretch as he changed his thrust to something deeper, sweeter. Dana gasped into his mouth as he filled her even more completely than before. She gazed up at him, lips open and panting and he smiled again, his eyes shining with love and mischief. "You like that, huh?" he husked against her lips and she smiled back, her eyes again falling shut with the incredible sensations he was creating inside her. Feeling her orgasm nearing, she moaned and urged him again with her hips, her legs sliding higher up to bracket his torso. Walter quickened his pace, bringing her to ecstasy with three quick thrusts. Dana cried out his name as her muscles gripped him tightly with each contraction of pleasure. It was enough to drag Walter over the edge as well, and he roared his release as his body shuddered against hers, his muscles spasming in time with the aftershocks of her orgasm. With a final shudder, he released her hands and pulled her flush against him as he rolled them to their sides. They lay there, together, spent, her softly kissing the fur of his chest while he murmurred nonsense syllables into her silky, sweat-dampened hair. *********************** Dana woke to the sound of her cellular phone ringing. She quickly but gently disengaged herself from Walter’s possessive embrace and slid off the mattress, reaching for her phone at the same time. She grabbed her robe with one hand as she softly answered "Scully," into the mouthpiece. "Hey, Scully, did I interrupt anything?" Mulder sounded cheerful and mischievous. "Mulder!" Scully exclaimed a little more loudly than she had intended. Relieved to hear Walter’s soft snoring continue uninterrupted, she quickly exited the bedroom, shutting the door silently behind her. "When did you get back?" she asked her partner, heading towards the living room. "This morning. I just got in." Mulder paused, hesitant. "I needed to talk to you. To hear your voice." Another pause. "I left badly. We needed to talk, well, you needed me to talk, to talk to, but I wasn’t ready." Dana heard him sigh. "I’m so sorry, Scully. I’m ready now if you are." Scully hesitated; there was so much to talk about, so many things left unsaid that she didn’t know where to begin. While still in Abidjan, she had been prepared to defy Spender’s demand that she keep her mouth shut. However, she hadn’t needed to tell Mulder about the alien vessel or any of the other information she had discovered. The telepathic abilities he had acquired through the alien entity’s habitation of his mind had shown him everything that had happened. Unfortunately, this had led to awkwardness on both of their sides in regards to Scully and Skinner’s altered relationship. Scully had needed Mulder, had needed his support during Skinner’s recovery while her lover was hospitalized in Abidjan, but Mulder had refused to not only talk, but to listen as well. He had curtly informed her that he was having enough trouble dealing with all he had seen telepathically and couldn’t handle her problems too. So Scully had withdrawn from him, spending her time at Skinner’s side, reading to him, coordinating their return to the States and fielding calls from the D.C. office, all the while ignoring Walter’s pleas to stop being so stubborn and go talk to Mulder. She finally explained to Walter that it wasn’t obstinance that kept her away. By giving him space, she had rationalized, he would have the room he needed to deal with their relationship and maybe, just maybe, be all right with it enough to find his way back to her. Walter had relented, acquiescing that, of anyone, she should know how to handle Mulder. Consequently, they hadn’t seen much of each other during the next eight days. When Walter was well enough to travel, the three of them had flown back together, but the trip had been a silent one. Walter mostly slept while she concocted her "official" report for the bureau. At one point she dozed off, burrowing gently against Walter’s burly warmth, careful of his bruises. She had woken to find Mulder staring at her with a haunted look on his face. When their eyes had met, he flushed and looked away quickly, muttering, "sorry," as he turned his face back to the window, effectively shutting her out once more. They hadn’t said more than two words the rest of the flight, and Mulder announced his plans to spend some time by himself once they had cleared the gate. That was almost nine days ago. This phone call was the first contact she had had from him since the airport. Scully was very glad and relieved to hear from him, but worried where they stood now that Walter was so much a part of her life. "Well, um," she began, haltingly, "so, where have you been?" "I spent some time at my family’s summer house. Just thinking. I had done a lot of thinking in the hospital, but then it was so colored by jealousy and confusion that I really couldn’t straighten it out." "Jealousy? Over my relationship with Walter?" Scully asked as she settled herself on the couch. He sighed, audibly. "Yes. Stupid and pointless, I know. You and I have a relationship that you and Skinner can never have, so why should I be jealous, right?" He chuckled a little, and then continued in a rush, "It wasn’t just jealousy, though. I was angry, too. Angry that you had been feeling these things for Skinner for a long time and hadn’t told me, angry at Skinner for ‘betraying’ me by seducing you," Scully began to protest but Mulder cut her off. "You don’t have to defend him, Scully. I know it was a stupid thing to feel. He didn’t betray me because there was no romantic relationship between you and I to betray. And I know for a fact he didn’t seduce you." At Scully’s sharp intake of breath, he said softly, "Yeah, that was part of it, too. I was lying there, unable to speak, to move, but I could hear everything. I could see everything. I watched the two of you, together." Mulder chuckled again, "It took me this last week to figure it out, that it wasn’t you or Skinner I was mad at, really. It was me." Dana objected, "Why would you be mad at yourself? Mulder, you experienced more than I could possibly imagine. Of course there’s going to be a lot of confused emotions after an experience like you went through. There was no reason to be angry with yourself." Mulder hurried to clarify himself. "No, I wasn’t mad because my feelings were mixed up. I was mad at myself for missed opportunities." "Oh," Scully breathed, beginning to understand. "What I saw, what you shared with Skinner, what you do share with Skinner - I couldn’t help thinking that it should have been us, you and I, not you and him. And I only have myself to blame for that." Scully remained silent on her end as the words poured from Mulder. "There was a time not so long ago that I wanted so much to be with you that way, and when I saw the two of you together, I realized that the opportunity was gone forever. But that’s not the whole reason I was mad." She heard him take a long, deep breath. "I was angry at myself for being so small." "Mulder," Scully began to object. "No, Scully, I should have been happy for you. Happy that you were happy, happy that you had found someone to feel safe with. God knows you’ve never been safe with me." He snorted in self-disgust. "All I’ve brought you is pain, Scully. I have no right denying you a chance to find something with Skinner that you could never find with me." She closed her eyes and rested her head against the soft upholstery, the phone pressed to her ear. "I love you, Scully. I know you didn’t take me seriously that time I told you in Bermuda, but I really do love you. I want you to be happy. Not only is Skinner a good man, but he knows our history, he knows what the stakes are. He’ll cherish you as you deserve to be cherished, because he understands how precious happiness is and how easily it can be lost. I saw how much you needed him, how empty you felt when you thought he was gone. I could never deny you the happiness you’ve found with him." Dana sighed heavily and began, "First of all, Mulder, you do not only bring me pain. The friendship and partnership I’ve had with you, which I’ll continue to have with you by the way, is probably the most frustrating and rewarding relationship I’ve ever had. Or probably will ever have. And I love you, too. But as my best friend, my confidante, my brother - nothing more. What we have is already pretty intense." She chuckled and was relieved to hear Mulder’s snort on the other end. "And anyway, Mulder, this quest is your priority and I respect that completely. It takes everything you’ve got; there’s not too much left for me." She hastened to reassure him, "I don’t mean that as a rebuke. It’s simply who you are, and it’s not indicative of your being shallow or unable to have a long-term relationship. On the contrary, you’re a very dedicated, passionate person. I love that about you. It’s what’s kept me a part of this, a part of you. And I’ll never let you go, no matter how hard you try to push me away." She couldn’t help adding, "Or how many times you ditch me." She heard him chuckle. "I love you, Mulder. Yes, Walter does fill a need in me, a huge empty space that I had almost forgotten about, but he’ll never replace you. You don’t ever have to worry about me not needing you, Mulder. You both complete me; please believe that." She could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, "I do now, Scully. I didn’t say what I did to make you feel like you had to reassure me of my place in your world. I know I’m important to you, just as you know how important you are to me." They shared a moment of companionable silence, each basking in the knowledge that they were back to status quo. Then Mulder asked, "So, how have you been? And don’t just say ‘fine,’ Scully. I really want to know how you and the boss-man are faring." "I hate to disappoint you, Mulder, but we haven’t made any videos." Mulder chuckled and retorted, "That’s ok, Scully. I’ve got Frohike working on it. But seriously, how are you handling everything? I’ve had plenty of time this last week to realize I wasn’t the only one who went through the wringer in Africa." "Yeah, well, it’s been going...how you’d expect, Mulder. Walter’s still recuperating and I’m trying to care for him without driving him crazy." Dana fingered the sash of her robe while she contemplated telling Mulder about her nightmares. Finally, she sighed in resignation. To be completely honest, she really wanted, no, needed Mulder to tell her that everything was going to be all right. "Actually Mulder, it’s been a pretty bumpy week. It’s nothing Walter’s done," she hastened to add. "He’s been only a little uncooperative. He’s pretty stubborn, well, you know just how stubborn he can be, and he hates being coddled. But he’s been really patient with me. He understands that I need to take care of him probably more than he needs being taken care of." She paused for a breath and Mulder interjected with his usual insight, "You almost lost him, Scully. Of course he understands your need to mother hen him to death. You’re trying to make up for not being there when you swore to him you would be. It’s a natural reaction." Scully gasped, her embarrassment at realizing the extent of his telepathic reach while comatose quickly fading as she realized the importance of his statement. She closed her eyes as she rubbed one temple with her free hand, remembering that morning in the bathroom with Walter, the memory of her oath suddenly vivid in her mind. Leaning against the edge of the sink in the tiny bathroom, her arms wrapped tightly around Walter’s waist, their groins pressed together as she stared up into his beautifully expressive brown eyes with determination. "I don’t want you to tell me it’s going to be all right," she had said. "I don’t want you to tell me not to worry or think about it because it’s beyond my control. I have to worry about it because...because I love you." She remembered seeing Walter’s eyes widen; he hadn’t expected her to feel the same as he did. She had felt terribly sad then, sad that he didn’t think she could love him, sad that he didn’t believe himself deserving of her love. She wanted to show him just what he meant to her, so she had sworn to him then, her steely tone reinforced by her love for him and her hatred for Alex Krycek. "I’m telling YOU not to worry about it, Walter, because if Krycek wants to hurt you again, the rat bastard son-of-a-bitch is going to have to go through me to do it." She had meant those words. She had wanted to protect him from any more harm on her or Mulder’s behalf. She had wanted to save him from any more pain. He had been through so much already; they all had. She had just wanted to make him feel as safe and protected as she felt with him. But in the end, they were empty words. Walter had directed her to the safety of Mulder’s room while he faced the demon she had sworn to protect him against. She had failed him. "Scully?" Mulder’s questioning voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Scully, I’m sorry. I had no right to presume..." "No, Mulder, you’re right," she reassured him, the realization of the source of her nightmares hitting her hard. It had been her own guilt, all this time. "Mulder, you have no idea how right you are." "Well, I’ve been trying to tell you for the last six years what a misunderstood genius I really am..." "Don’t push it, Mulder." Scully was smiling, feeling better than she had since the nightmares started. "I’ve been having nightmares," she began, softly. "And until you said what you did, I didn’t connect the reason for them with what I had promised Walter." "Tell me about them," Mulder gently urged. "They’re always the same. Walter is...is dead," she stumbled on the word, "and we’re at his funeral, and I’m filled with such emptiness and fear, and grief and...rage." The words tumbled out of her, the memory of the horrible dream still fresh in her mind and difficult to relate. "Before I talked to you, I thought my anger was directed towards Walter for leaving me alone, and my fear was caused by the prospect of continuing without him, but that wasn’t it at all, was it? My anger was really at myself, for letting him walk into that situation when I had sworn I’d protect him from Krycek. And my fear - my fear was due to so many things," she shook her head, amazed at how she hadn’t seen it before. "Yes, part of it was how I didn’t want to go on without him, but mostly it scared the hell out of me just how close I came to losing him." Her voice became earnest as she tried to explain it to him. "When he went after Krycek it never even occurred to me that he was in danger. How absurd is that? The bastard literally held Walter’s life in his hand and I wasn’t even that worried!" "Scully," Mulder broke in, "you sound as if you consider yourself stupid for believing Skinner to be strong enough to handle any situation. Well, you’re not stupid, Scully. Far from it." "But, Mulder..." Dana tried to interrupt, but Mulder wouldn’t let her finish. "Scully, just think about it. How many times have the two of us, especially you, turned to the big guy for help and he came through, sometimes bloody and beaten, yes, but still standing? The man’s a rock, Scully. When he tells you he’s going to do something, his manner is so commanding, so forceful, that you never question whether or not he can really pull it off. That’s why he’s AD. That aura of confidence, of self-assurance that he projects rubs off on others." Mulder chuckled, his voice teasing. "Face it, Scully. He pulled the AD wool over your eyes and you bought it. It doesn’t mean you’re blind to what’s going on; it just means he’s good." Scully laughed, too. She couldn’t deny Mulder’s words. Walter was good. He was very good. She sighed deeply, thinking about the wonderful man asleep in their bed. "Ok, you win on that point, Mulder. But I still feel guilty about it, I can’t help myself. The feeling is just there and I don’t know how to make it go away. It doesn’t help that in the back of my mind is this deep-seated fear that it could happen again at any time even though Krycek’s out of the picture, and the next time I’ll be even less able to anticipate it. It scares me to my very soul, Mulder," her voice turned to softly pleading, "how close I came to losing him, how I could still lose him, and that, as horribly empty and bereft I felt in my nightmare, those feelings could never come close to how devastated I would be if I were to really lose him." Dana’s eyes filled with tears as the fear and despair she had been talking about coalesced into a hard lump deep in her throat. Disgusted at herself for the emotional display in front of Mulder, even on the phone, she swiped angrily at her eyes and laughed without humor. "God, I sound pathetic, don’t I?" "No," Mulder argued, his voice soft and understanding. "Not pathetic. Pathetically in love, maybe, but I think it’s been building for a long time and that’s why it’s hitting you so hard." Dana sniffled a little, pushing back her tears, and tried to joke, "I’ve been building to an emotional overload, you mean?" "No," Mulder said again, "you’ve been slowly falling in love with him for the last, what has it been? Two years?" Dana couldn’t respond immediately, as the implications of his statement were slow to register through her shock. "Two years? What do you mean? But I never..." "I know," Mulder was quick to reassure her. "You weren’t even aware of it. Neither was I really, at least, not on a conscious level. It wasn’t until this last week when I had nothing to do but dwell on it that I recalled little signs here and there." "Like what?" She was curious now. "Like how whenever we had a meeting in his office, I would be sitting there fidgeting, and you would just stare at him the entire time he read through our report, and occasionally you’d flush a little and look down at your hands." Dana huffed in protest, but Mulder cut her off. "At the time I thought maybe you just caught yourself daydreaming, but it never occurred to me that Skinner was the one you were daydreaming about. He was, wasn’t he?" Dana flushed in her seat on the couch, suddenly recalling vividly her ‘inappropriate’ mental meanderings during those meetings. At her lack of response, Mulder continued. "Then there was how you’d always wear your best suits those days, or how whenever we were in trouble you’d run straight to his door for help, or how whenever you talked to him you had to stand much closer to him than necessary, or how you’d stare at his ass whenever we walked behind him, or.." "Enough, enough!" Dana broke in, laughing. "I get the picture." The two of them laughed together for a moment, and then Dana asked, still smiling, "But if you noticed me lusting over him why didn’t I notice it, for god’s sake? I just thought I needed to get out more." She laughed again and said, "I mean, why didn’t I see it? When I finally admitted to myself..." "And to me," he had to interject. "That’s right, and to you," she smiled, remembering confessing her feelings to her comatose partner. "When I realized I had fallen in love with him, it was a total surprise. It just seems that I was at odds with him for so long, not trusting him..." "Scully," Mulder softly interrupted, "did it ever occur to you that you were at odds with him because you were fighting your feelings for him?" Dana paused, holding her breath as the thought struck home. "No," she admitted. "No, it never occurred to me. But I think you’re right. I was deliberately pushing him away, trying to keep my distance by convincing myself he was one of the bad guys." She sighed loudly again. Would the revelations never end? "Mulder," she began, "you’re absolutely right. You’re really amazing, you know? You just put all the pieces together..." she trailed off, shaking her head in amusement. "Could you hold that thought, Scully? I need to grab my tape recorder..." "Nope. That’s it. Missed your chance." Mulder sighed dramatically. "You’re a hard woman, Dana Scully. But I love you anyway," he added, his tone tender. "And stop feeling guilty. You have no reason to. Even if you would have gone with Walter to meet Krycek, the same thing could have happened. There’s no reason to believe that your presence would have made a difference," he firmly reassured her. "And in the end, you did what was important. You rose above your grief to see the control device and you saved Skinner’s life. You. Saved. Him. Don’t forget it." She smiled at the sternness of his tone. "I won’t forget it. Walter reminds me of it every day. And the fear, well, I’ll just have to get over it, I know." "You can’t worry about the future, Scully. Just live for today." She snorted. "This coming from the man whose motto is, ‘Ditch my partner now, worry about the consequences later’?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." She could practically see Mulder waving her off. "Sure. Fine." "Whatever." "Whatever." "Love you, Scully." "Love you, Mulder." "See you soon, ok?" "In person. Not on video." "Can’t promise anything. Frohike was pretty gung-ho." "Good-bye, Mulder." "’Bye, Scully." She clicked off the phone and set it on the coffee table. And smiled. *************************** Walter Skinner woke slowly, stretching his muscles without moving his large body overly much, careful not to rouse his companion. But as he came fully awake, he realized his companion was no longer in the bed beside him. Walter sat up, surveying the darkened room for a sign of Dana. His Dana. He smiled at that thought as he stretched more completely, the large slabs of muscle covering his chest, shoulders and arms pulling taut as he raised his hands above his head, cracking his neck at the same time. He pulled the covers from his naked body and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Glancing at the clock as he grabbed his glasses off the nightstand, he stood up and sighed. It wasn’t even six o’clock yet. He hoped Dana wasn’t awake for the sole purpose of brooding over her nightmares. He knew she hated them, hated the loss of control they implied. He slipped into his sweatpants and then quietly left the bedroom. Once in the hallway, the sound of Dana’s soft voice immediately caught his attention. Walter just heard her saying, "But Mulder," as he stepped into the living room behind her. Her voice trailed off, and Walter wondered if Mulder had called to set things straight between him and his partner. The man had been a total ass to Dana in Abidjan and, had Walter been in any shape to do so, he would have marched down to Mulder’s room and beaten some sense into the stubborn agent. Dana had insisted it was between them and that Mulder would come around in his own good time, and hopefully, she had been right. Walter was assured by her sudden laughter, and started to tiptoe into the kitchen to leave her to finish her conversation in private but halted when he heard her say she felt guilty. Puzzled, he changed direction and moved a little further into the living room, knowing he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but wanting very much to understand what was going on in that complicated head of hers. He was astonished when she admitted the depth of her feelings for him to Mulder. Dana had told him she loved him, but he found it hard to believe that she felt as deeply connected to him as he did to her. He leaned against the counter divider and smiled out of pure happiness. To love her secretly for years had been hell; to finally hear her say she loved him had been heaven. But to know she loved and needed him as deeply as he loved and needed her, well, that was something so purely incredible that it defied definition. Walter leaned back, folding his muscular arms across his broad chest and listened as the rest of their conversation played out. When she finally said good-bye and set the phone down, he gently cleared his throat. Dana jumped in her seat and turned around, pinning him with an accusatory glance. Grinning sheepishly, he admitted, "I know I shouldn’t have listened in, but I’ve been worried about you. I thought you might tell Mulder something you felt you couldn’t tell me. So I eavesdropped. I’m sorry." Her expression softened and he uncrossed his arms to push away from the counter. Holding out one hand to her he asked, "Forgive me?" Dana smiled and rose from the couch, moving to take his hand in hers. She pulled him against her and wondered aloud, "Now how can I stay mad at you when you’re half naked?" Her eyes raked appreciatively over his bare torso and he chuckled. "Well, that was the plan," he joked, squeezing her hand in his. "Not to change the subject, but how about some breakfast?" Letting go of his hand, she wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin flat against his furry chest so her lips were mere inches from his when he looked down at her. "Actually," she murmured huskily, "I’ve got a better idea." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Walter’s breathing quickened; it was amazing the effect she had on him. He hadn’t been this horny since he was a teenager. He lowered his face the remaining distance and kissed her passionately, his tongue immediately seeking out hers as he ground his rapidly growing erection against her. Dana moaned in the back of her throat, her lips devouring his with equal intensity. Groaning in response to her complete surrender, Walter ran his hands down her back to knead her buttocks and pull her more firmly into the kiss. He pulled away slightly to nibble her luscious lower lip and trail kisses across her cheek up to her eyelids and was stopped by a sudden familiar and unwanted sensation in his groin. Raising his hands to gently cup her face he whispered, "Dana?" "Hmmm?" she replied, lazily as he pressed feather-light kisses against her cheekbones, brushing her pale skin with his lips. "I’ve really got to pee." And letting go of her suddenly, he took off in a run for the bathroom. "What?" He heard her sputter as he made his getaway. "You are a beast!" But her laughter refuted her indignation. Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go, he mused to himself, shaking his head as he closed the bathroom door behind him. He quickly took care of business and washed his hands. Returning to the kitchen, he knew his ears were probably burning a nice shade of pink from embarrassment. Walking up behind Dana just as she flipped the coffee machine on he dropped a kiss against the side of her neck. She turned her head to look up at him, her eyebrow arched. "I’m really sorry." He knew his apology would sound a little more sincere if he wasn’t still grinning. Dana chuckled again, shaking her head slightly at him. "That’s okay," she reassured him. "I can wait. For now," she amended. "Anyway, breakfast is a good idea. You’ll need your strength for later." She gave him a pointed look and he felt warmth pool again in his groin. "Recharging the batteries is definitely a good idea," he concurred, straight-faced. "What," she quipped, "you’re out of juice? Somehow I have this image of you as the Energizer bunny. Except you just keep coming, and coming..." Her voice trailed off at his pained expression. "I’ve heard that one before. But where you’re concerned, it’s more like Eveready." Her eyebrow arched even higher in response and he nodded towards the stove. "You want to make breakfast sometime today or would you rather just talk about it?" With both eyebrows raised, she turned towards the cupboard to start gathering ingredients as he grinned and opened the refrigerator to do the same. They made pancakes and sausage in companionable silence. Walter took the food to the table as Dana poured them both coffee and orange juice. Sitting down, he surveyed their meal. "Have we hit all the food groups?" he asked with mock seriousness. He watched her pretend to study the dishes in front of them and finally nodded with equal solemnity. "Fat. Cholesterol. Sugar." She gave him her best blank look. "I believe we’ve got it covered." "Then sit and partake," he gestured to the chair on his left and she saluted him before she sat. They both dug in heartily, and Walter was well into his third pancake and second sausage when Dana suddenly stated, "Mulder’s doing better." Looking up from his plate, Walter smiled. "I gathered that from your conversation. It was good to hear you two talking again like before." He really had been worried about the state of their friendship. "So," she continued, pausing to chew a mouthful of sausage, "exactly how much did you overhear?" She looked at him curiously, without accusation. Walter stopped eating and his eyes met hers. "From the part where you said how devastated you would be if you lost me." Dana’s cheeks colored slightly, but her eyes remained locked with his. "I feel the same way, you know," he whispered, laying his left hand palm-up on the table. She set down her fork and placed her hand lightly in his, squeezing gently. "If I were to lose you, nothing would matter anymore." He cleared his throat and looked down at his plate, suddenly self-conscious. "I know it doesn’t fit in with my hard-ass AD persona, but it’s true. It’s difficult for me to say these things, babe, really difficult. I lost Sharon because I couldn’t, no, because I wouldn’t talk to her." Once again, his eyes met hers. "I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. So please remember when I stumble, when I don’t always say the right thing, that I am trying." Dana blinked back the moisture that suddenly appeared in her eyes and gave him a tremulous smile. "I’ll remember," she said in a somewhat shaky voice, "If you remember the same for me. I’m not exactly the most forthcoming person when it comes to what I’m thinking or feeling." Walter could have snorted at that, but instead gave her a blank look and said dryly, "You? I’ve never noticed." Dana’s eyes narrowed but then she chuckled. Looking quickly down at her plate, she said, "Does it strike you as absurd at all?" He tilted his head and regarded her quizzically. "What do you mean?" She looked back up at him, her face a little sad. "Us. Together. We are quite possibly the two most emotionally repressed, close-mouthed, secretive people on this planet, and yet we’ve somehow managed to fall in love." Walter shook his head and he smiled what he knew was one of his shit- eating grins. He had just thought of a way to show her exactly how emotionally expressive he could be. "That’s funny," he said softly. "I was just thinking we were a perfect match." He rubbed his callused thumb over the top of her fingers sensuously and was rewarded with her blue eyes darkening to indigo. Dana swallowed hard and nodded, squeezing his hand back. Without taking his eyes from hers or letting go of her hand, he pushed back from the table and stood, gently tugging her up out of her seat. She followed him as he slowly walked backwards towards the stairs, never losing eye contact with her, his face serious but still open for her to see what he was feeling. He had meant what he had said about not wanting to hide anything from her. When he got to the base of the steps he stopped and pulled her gently towards him. When they stood toe to toe, he let go of her hand and scooped her up easily in his arms. Surprised, she put one arm around his shoulders and placed her other hand against his chest, and he knew she could feel his heart racing beneath her palm. He whispered huskily, "Well, I feel recharged. How about you?" She smiled as she leaned forward to kiss him and murmured, "Definitely Eveready..." They chuckled together as their lips met. Their kiss was thorough but gentle, meant to savor the moment, savor each other. Then Walter slowly ended the kiss, looking deeply into her eyes before turning to ascend the stairs. He carried her into the bedroom and kissed her gently once more before setting her carefully down on the bed. As he stood, he grabbed one end of her sash, slowly pulling the knot loose. Walter started to kneel before her but changed his mind and instead strode around the bed to the curtained windows. He felt Dana’s eyes on him and knew she was puzzled. He opened the drapes, bathing the room in bright morning sunshine. He turned, saw her questioning look and explained quietly, "I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don’t want anything hidden between us." Walter wanted her to know how much he loved her, cherished her, and he knew he would never be able to put it in words. His only recourse was to show her with his hands, his eyes, his lips. Dana seemed to understand his intent and nodded shakily, holding her hand out to him in invitation. He unhurriedly stepped forward and clasped her hand in his, holding it tightly as he moved around the bed, returning to stand in front of her. Slowly, he knelt, nudging her knees apart so he could kneel between them and then drew her hand to his lips, gently kissing and sucking each of her knuckles before placing her hand next to her hip. Dana’s eyes were the most incredible shade of dark blue by this time, and Walter gently traced them with his fingertips, outlining her brows, stroking her delicate cheekbones, trailing his thumb over her nose and full, lush lips that were opened slightly with passion. God, he thought to himself, she’s so beautiful. His breathing quickened as her heavy-lidded eyes closed briefly in response to his feathery touches. He continued to stroke from her cheek down to her jawline in a circular motion, barely grazing her skin with the backs of his fingers, marveling at the outward softness that hid the incredible strength of this woman he loved. He was so engrossed in worshiping her with the barest of touches that he jumped a bit when she reached out to touch him like he was touching her, running her fingertips over his bare scalp, trailing them down to the soft fringe of graying hair. He ran his hands down her neck and stared at the large knuckles that looked so brutish against her delicate skin. He suddenly felt clumsy and foolish and felt his shoulder muscles tense up beneath her hands. He sensed her surprise at the sudden tautness, and quickly lowered his face, trying to hide his embarrassment when she looked up at him. "What is it?" her voice was filled with concern. "What’s wrong?" He shook his head and sighed. "I was trying...to be incredibly romantic and tender and suddenly, I just felt foolish." At the sound of protest she made, he said quickly, "I know, it’s stupid to feel foolish. I just did, ok?" He looked at her, chagrined at breaking the mood. "Here I am, trying to show you how beautiful and precious you are to me and I ruin it." He chuckled in self-deprecation. "I guess instead of Don Juan you got stuck with Don Quixote. But without the picturesque windmills." He winced at his poor attempt at humor, but she chuckled anyway. A small grin on her face, she quipped, "Well, just don’t start proposing to any tavern wenches or we’ll really have trouble." She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. "How about charging the Washington Monument in my Taurus?" he mumbled as he nuzzled her lips and nose with his own. "Now that would really....be....silly..." Her voice trailed off as he once again captured her mouth, his tongue quickly engaging hers in an erotic duel that effectively ended their joking. When he finally released her lips, she gasped against his cheek as he began to nibble his way down her chin to her neck, his hands continuing their journey beneath her robe. "I guess..." she breathed against his scalp, "you no longer...feel...foolish...oh, god!" She cried out as his lips found her turgid nipple. He sucked the rosy point into his mouth, tonguing it gently and nodded against her in reply as he pulled her robe away from her shoulders and down her arms. He felt her breathing open-mouthed against his scalp and her chest was rising and falling rapidly beneath his lips by the time he moved to the other breast to give it equal attention. Dana’s hands traveled ceaselessly down his back and across his shoulders, kneading then smoothing the muscles while she made little animal noises in the back of her throat, turning him rock- hard so suddenly it was almost painful. He drew away from her breast suddenly and threw her robe wide open, exposing her creamy flesh to his ravenous gaze. Her porcelain skin was flushed pink with her desire and he hesitated only a brief second to rake his eyes across her before he pulled her nakedness flush against his bare upper body, his hands cupping her buttocks tightly to grind her wetness against his muscular abdomen and the tip of his fully erect cock peeking out above his sweats. Their mouths mated hungrily, their tongues vying for dominance and Walter felt Dana’s toes tickling against his sides as she tried to grasp the waistband of his sweats, finally succeeding in pushing them down over his ass, further exposing the hard evidence of his arousal. She ground herself against him, working the head of his cock between her slippery folds, eliciting a gasp from both of them as he made direct contact with her clit. Walter stood up with her clasped hard against him and lowered their bodies to the bed, rolling slightly to the side to avoid crushing the beautiful woman beneath him. He kicked off his sweats as he continued to leisurely bathe first one full breast and then the other with his tongue. Feeling rather than seeing Dana’s head twist from side to side from his sensual assault, he slowly lowered himself further down her body, trailing his lips in butterfly kisses down her flat tummy, pausing to explore her belly button with soft nibbles and tongue- thrusts. He heard Dana’s breath catch as he reached her springy auburn curls. He looked up to see her propped up on her elbows and her heavy-lidded eyes focused intently on him. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he softly rubbed her moisture- laden curls with his chin. Her eyelids dropped a little more. He continued to rub against her in a circular motion but moved a fraction lower so the point of his chin just barely parted her wet folds. Her mouth fell open, and the tip of her pink tongue darted out to briefly moisten her lips as her breathing increased. Still with his eyes on hers, he lowered his jaw and lapped once, roughly, between her labia, stroking her weeping hole and engorged clit with one, long caress. Dana’s eyes shut tightly as she let out a low moan, her head falling against her shoulder. Walter lowered his face to breathe in the scent of her heat; the smell of her was so overpowering that he almost grew dizzy as what little blood that had been left in his brain rapidly headed south. He pulled his face away and rested, open mouthed, against her inner thigh, trying to rein in his desire. He sucked gently on the satiny skin at the juncture of her body, panting heavily, until he had regained a little control. Giving her thigh a last kiss, he glanced back up at her to see her head lolling on her neck, her chest heaving slightly. She must have sensed his gaze, because her eyes opened once again, but this time took a second to focus on his. Her tongue once more poked out to wet her lips as she watched him resting only an inch away from her molten center. She thrust her hips once in invitation, and Walter held her gaze as he slowly shifted his weight in order to reposition her, pushing her knees back to grant him better access. He lazily ran one finger from her bellybutton down through her curls, gently parting her nether lips with his thumb as he slowly eased his thick digit inside of her and even more slowly removed it, drawing it back up across her clit. Dana shuddered, her eyes closed, and again pumped her hips just once, waiting for him to give her what she wanted. He settled lower again, his lips almost touching her throbbing heat but then paused. "Mine," he whispered huskily. Dana’s eyes shot open; she focused on him, on the single word he uttered and then slowly nodded in agreement. "Yours," she breathed. And then Walter thrust his tongue inside her, stroking and sucking all at once and she screamed with the intensity of her orgasm. He held her still as she thrashed against him, cries and moans loudly escaping her lips as he replaced his tongue with his fingers so he could concentrate on sucking her sensitive bud. He could feel every part of her shuddering against him as she clutched frantically at his bare scalp, trying to push him away and pull him closer at the same time. He increased his activity, lapping, suckling and finger-fucking her as he heard her inarticulate cries. "Oh, Walt-, oh, don’t...stop...stop....don’t....oh, Walt-uhrrr!" She screamed even louder than before as her entire body went rigid as a giant wave of ecstasy rolled through her, forcing her head back at an impossible angle and arching her back so high off the bed he thought for sure he would hear it crack at any second. She shuddered once more, and then collapsed against the mattress, her body flushed and dripping with sweat. Walter lay against her, tenderly rubbing his cheek against her trembling inner thigh, waiting for her to regain her senses, trying to push back his own arousal. After several moments, she weakly twisted her head to one side and looked down at him, her face still rosy from her orgasm. "Damn," she croaked, a small smile on her lips. Walter chuckled against her, watching the effect of his slight jostling against her still highly-sensitive genitals play across her entire body. She shuddered again, but then slowly raised up on her elbows to get a better look at him, her chest still rising and falling heavily, sweat glistening on her heaving breasts. Although he wouldn’t have believed it possible, just seeing her so made him go even harder. He carefully disengaged his arms from around her legs and hips and pulled his knees up under him so he could rock back on his heels, displaying for Dana his rampant arousal now almost flat against the hard plane of his body. Dana’s gaze lowered to his erection, it’s bulging veins standing out in bas relief against the rigid, velvety length as it bobbed enthusiastically a few inches away from her dripping sex. He felt his cock stand up straighter for her inspection and he bit back a groan as she eyed him hungrily. Finally, she tore her eyes away from his dick to meet his hungry gaze. "Mine?" she asked huskily, her eyes indicating his throbbing cock. "Oh yeah," he moaned, nodding back emphatically. "Yours. Completely. Forever." She nodded back, and then stretched out her left leg, hooking her foot behind his thigh and pulling him towards her. He needed no further encouragement. Walter slowly lowered himself on top of her, careful not to rest his full weight on his petite lover as she once again laid back fully against the mattress, wrapping her arms and legs around him to pull him close against her. They lay like that for several moments, kissing leisurely as Walter tried to rein in his desire. When he felt a little more in control, he pulled back to look at her, his hand sliding up to tangle in her fiery hair. Dana smiled sensually at him and murmurred, "Over," nudging him at the same time with her right shoulder. He immediately complied by rolling them both over so their positions were reversed. Dana sat up, straddling him, and pushed his hands above his head. "Keep those there," she commanded huskily. "Yes, ma'am," he acquiesced, a smile on his lips. She smiled back at him as she ran her hands down his arms to his chest, softly tugging at the greying curls as she leaned down to circle first one nipple and then the other with her tongue. He moaned loudly as the flicks of her tongue shot straight to his balls. "Jesus, Dana," he groaned, "don't..." "Shhhh," she cut him off, her words muffled against his chest. "You got your turn to play. Now it's mine." Walter groaned again as she continued to torture him, nibbling and licking a path down his body, her wet pussy sliding against him as she wriggled her way down. He tried to keep his arms above his head, but he knew if she touched her lips to a cock it would all be over. He hastily reached down with one hand, touching the top of her hair just before her mouth descended on his tumescence. She looked up at him questioningly and he shook his head 'no' at her, his breath coming out in shaky gasps. She smiled and then placed a soft, moist kiss on the tip of his distended cock before moving back up his body to straddle his hips. He dropped his head back on the mattress, staring blindly up at the ceiling, returning his hand above his head to clutch tightly at the pillow as she took him gently in hand and guided him into her. The feel of her tight wetness surrounding him was so intense that Walter barely heard Dana hiss, "Yessss," as she accepted him fully inside her, her ass settling against his taut balls. She sat there for a few moments, allowing him to get control of his breathing before she began to slide slowly up and down his pulsing length. Walter's blood was pounding everywhere; in his cock, in his head - he felt as if every part of him was going to explode from the intensity of the sensations she was creating as she rocked against him, her muscles clasping the entire length of him. Above him was the most incredible sight: his beautiful Dana, flushed red with arousal, the coppery hair framing her face curling slightly from the moistened heat of her body, her mouth open and panting heavily as she began to move more quickly, impaling herself even further upon his thick cock. Walter felt drunk with the feel and the smell of her; he closed his eyes and gave himself up to the pleasure building in his groin, his balls pulling even more tightly against his body and he began to lunge up into her, raising both of them off the bed with powerful thrusts. Dana's cries of pleasure grew louder, and she rammed her body against his in an equally desperate counterpoint as they both raced towards completion. He opened his eyes just as Dana came with a scream, and watched in fascination as she threw her head back at an almost impossible angle, every muscle in her body going completely taut as her orgasm pulsed through her. Her internal muscles convulsed around him, gripping him even more tightly, pushing him over the edge. He practically roared, "Fuck! Jesus! Da-" but was cut off in the middle of her name by his cock exploding almost painfully inside of her, her tight pussy milking him with her own climax as he spasmed over and over again, arching up off the bed, his mouth opening and closing as he gasped desperately for air. A final tremor shook him and he fell back against the mattress, shuddering with the aftershocks of what had to be, in his opinion, a ten-pointer on the Richter scale. Dana collapsed against him, her legs falling bonelessly to the sides of his body. He made an aborted attempt to wrap his arms around her; he just didn't have the energy. They laid that way for a while, their heart rates slowly returning to normal. Finally, he felt Dana shiver against him, so he mustered up enough strength to drag the blanket over their rapidly cooling bodies. She nuzzled against his neck and he whispered against her hair, "We should probably take a shower." He felt her chuckle against his chest. "If you can make it to the bathroom," she whispered hoarsely, "be my guest." He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Hmmm," he murmurred, "maybe later," and pulled her tighter against him. She chuckled again and curled up on his chest, stroking him with her fingertips. He was about to doze off under her hypnotic caress, but a sudden thought brought him fully awake. "Dana?" he whispered. "Hmm?" she responded, sleepily. "I just wanted you to know that you don't have to feel guilty." He felt her stiffen in surprise against him and looked down at her just as her eyes met his. "I overheard you tell Mulder that you felt guilty for not being with me when I faced Krycek. You don't have to." "Walter," she began to protest. "Babe," he cut her off. "You don't have to feel guilty because you were with me. Here," he tapped his chest. "And here," he finished, pointing to his head. "You're always with me. Your strength, your trust. Your love." He tenderly pushed a piece of hair out of her face as she stared at him, slightly teary-eyed. Her lips quivered and he rested the tip of his index finger against them, stilling them. "Your love was all the shield I needed. It's what saved me. So there's no reason to feel any guilt for not keeping your promise, because you did." A soft sob escaped Dana's lips and she buried her head in his neck, clinging tightly to him as she cried quietly into his warm skin. Walter sighed heavily and just held her close, stroking her hair and back and whispering his love and reassurance against her trembling cheek. Finally, she pulled away far enough so she could look into his eyes. Walter used the edge of the blanket to wipe her face, and she sniffled noisily before saying, "You need to warn me before you do that." "Do what?" he asked, puzzled by her sudden about face. "Look into my soul and say exactly what I need to hear." Her eyes were irridescent from the tears and the intensity of her emotion. Walter pulled her up a little higher and kissed the tip of her nose gently. "If I can see into your soul, it's because you let me in," he said softly. "And I am still in awe of that. That, after all the betrayals, after all the lies, you could trust me enough to share yourself with me is just...incredible. I...don't deserve it." He tried to continue, but Dana put her fingers across his lips, shushing him. "No, Walter, it's me who doesn't deserve the happiness you've given me." He tried to cut in, but she pressed her fingers against his lips again. "Please, let me finish." Reluctantly, he nodded, and she continued. "You've done so many things to help us, to save us and yet, at the first sign of trouble, I've consistently believed the worst of you. I'm so sorry." Tears started to well up in her eyes again, and Walter pulled her to him to kiss her soundly. When he pulled away, her eyes were still shining, but more from love than sadness or remorse. "Why don't we make a pact?" he suggested, and she cocked her head, giving him a questioning look. "From here on in, we're even. Every mistake, every misunderstanding - they're over and done. They don't count any more." She smiled and nodded. "Tabula Rasa?" He smiled back at her. "Clean slate. From this moment on. Everything we do from now on is done with the understanding that we love each other, we trust each other, and the knowledge that that love and trust is with us wherever we go, whatever we do." He kissed the tip of her nose again, pulled back to study her and then stuck his hand in front of her face. "Deal?" He waggled his hand at her. She grinned at him, and took his right hand in her left one, shaking it awkwardly. "Deal," she agreed. "Uh uh. It's gotta be your right hand." He shook his head at her, dismayed. "But my right hand's...well, it's..." and she moved her right hand from where it was curled next to her to above her head but hit him in the face in the process. "Ow! You're supposed to shake my hand, not my chin, you know!" he laughed. "Sorry, but I'm trying..." and she started to laugh too, but managed to miss his face the second time by resting her right forearm on his chest while raising herself a little with her left. "Ok," she giggled, "the rest is up to you." And she waved her hand laying on his chest. "Got it covered," and he reached his right hand between their bodies and shook...her breast. "Hey!" she yelped in mock anger, "I don't know where Assistant Directors learn anatomy, but that is not my hand!" "Oops, sorry," he apologized, insincerely. Grasping her hand, he gave it a firm shake. "Deal?" "Deal," she giggled. He let go of her hand and she resettled herself against his side, resting her head on his shoulder. He laid his arm across her shoulder, pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "So," she said quietly. "Can we really start all over?" He thought for a long moment, and then told her, "When I got Mulder out of the hospital and flew us to Abidjan, I did it because I felt I owed it to you. Because I had betrayed you and needed to make amends." He sighed deeply, and kissed her forehead again. "For so long, I've felt like I had to make reparations to you and Mulder for one betrayal or another. For not helping you as much as I should, for not taking your side when I knew you were right...yada yada yada," he waved his right hand in the air dismissively. "And you, your nightmares were caused by guilt over your not being with me to protect me from Krycek and his little box." He looked down towards Dana to see her staring up at him, thoughtfully. "I'm tired of it, Dana. I just want to forget about all the shit that's happened and the shit that's probably going to happen and just concentrate on being with you. With loving you." He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers, gazing deep into her eyes. "I don't want anything else to get in the way of us being together." He cupped her cheek gently in his hand and whispered, "The other stuff doesn't matter anymore, Dana. All that matters is what happens between us, starting now." Stroking his thumb over her lower lip, he asked, "Can you do that? Can you forgive me for everything I've done, for everything I didn't do?" "Oh, Walter," she sighed, reaching for his face to draw him into a tender kiss. Then she pulled away to look him in the eye and said with complete sincerity, "It's already forgotten." She kissed him again, smiling against his mouth. She pulled back and grinned widely. "We did it." He gave her a puzzled look. "Did what?" One eyebrow raised. "Got through a real discussion without a single, 'I'm fine,' without either of us clamming up or avoiding our feelings. We actually talked, Walter!" She chuckled and he laughed outright. "Oh my god," he laughed, "there's hope for us yet! And you thought we were emotionally repressed..." He looked at her accusingly. She just smiled. "Tabula rasa." He nodded slowly, and leaned in for a long, thorough kiss. When they pulled apart, he sniffed towards his chest and wrinkled his nose. "Uh, I hate to break the mood, but..." "It's time for that shower," she finished. They shared another quick kiss and simultaneously rolled out of bed. As they headed for the shower, Dana interjected, "Oh, the next time you have your apartment swept for bugs, have them check for video feeds." "Video feeds?" Walter was startled as he followed her into the bathroom. "Wait a second, is there something I should know here?" His only response was the sound of her laughter as she closed the door behind him. THE END